Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.
vikky538 29
parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..
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Comments (98)
ihpp 22
I hope your surgery goes well and you have a speedy recovery.
krazzee530 4
I don't see how this is negative.... The way op puts it who GETS to stay, says to me that both wanted to stay
glabberfasted 16
Glad I'm not the only one who caught that.
LadyIrene 21
Assuming it's on FML, I think they meant that they were both dreading staying overnight in an hospital.
Whotevah 8
They didn't use lizard and spock?
IHazNoUsername 9
Winner has to stay or gets to stay? I hope your surgery goes well, OP! Get well!
mimi_ivana 13
tough love
worldclassrager 41
It's one way to find out...
cyzn 18
Hope everything goes well OP! :$
iseebearbears 27
who gets to, or who has to? Big difference in terms of what the FML is really about.
pete9913 23
Maybe they both wanted to, and winner gets to stay with you
stfudonnie 10
that's the only fair way to solve there dilemma, it's how any big decision is made.