Today, my mom and dad played rock, paper, scissors over who gets to spend the night with me in the hospital tonight while I have surgery. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML
Today, I'm on bed rest after a major surgery. I can walk to the bathroom but can barely raise my hands. At the hospital, my mom gave this dramatic speech of being there whenever I needed her. When I asked her to come make me breakfast, she didn’t show up til noon then complained I was in a bad mood. FML
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
Today, I woke up to my mother telling me to sit up and get dressed because we had to go before it was too late. I had just woken up from surgery. She didn't want to be stuck in traffic. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML
Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
Loser has to stay or winner gets to stay? Big difference.
vikky538 29
parents these days... sorrt OP.. hope the surgery goes well..
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Comments (98)
headofmedusa 15
Who lost?
ImmaAstronomer 3
Hope you recover fast and easy, sorry about your parents not caring, they should you're their child, and they should both stay.
Vagitarian1 10
A simple coin flip would have sufficed.
JMichael 26
Play against them and if you beat them both they both gotta stay
pwnman 33
Why was the FML with the eye injury deleted? Had a good pun that would've made me get many likes! Also, I'm sorry about what's going on, OP.
saint_josephine 6
wait was it where the winner got to stay. or where the winner got to leave?? that way I know whether or not to think your parents are jerks.
Phoebe18 14
I think it's safe to assume that the loser has to stay, if it was the winner getting to stay I highly doubt this would have been a FML. Parents competing over who gets to stay is good, parents who compete over who has to stay is bad. There's a difference
weveallbeenthere 30
better than flipping a coin. hope they went 2 out of 3. and did loser stay with you or winner. either way it sucks for them.
miliaras93 17
Thats harsh
stopthestupid 5
In their defense, staying in a hospital overnight really sucks.
lasagnanarcotics 14
Wow, your parents must really love you!:)