Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was making dinner when my smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and waved a towel underneath it. After ten minutes, I realized the alarm wasn't reacting to the food. Its battery was dying. FML
Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when my smoke alarm started beeping. I opened the windows, turned on the fan, and checked everything twice. I then realized the noise wasn't the smoke alarm. It was my oven timer. I'd been cooking completely normally and panicking for no reason. FML
Today, I was making dinner when the smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and stood there waving a towel at it like an idiot. Then I realized that the alarm was coming from the apartment next door. FML
Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML
Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML
Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
HaIlegra 2
Oh burn.
_Oblivion_ 12
It was letting you know your toast was done. Evidently your kitchen wasn't done toasting yet.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (199)
CoolRainbowdash 15
Your fire alarm is going to kill you. :O
Squeaky_Tomato 14
Some fire alarms detect changes in heat and others actually detect smoke (the really awesome ones do both and also detect carbon monoxide). If your toaster is under the fire alarm that explains it going off while the toaster is heated but not while something across the kitchen is smoking.
zenrael 21
Batteries probably died from all the false alarms. Sorry op
myurlbriii 9
You couldn't smell the smoke?
KiddNYC1O 22
Op may have not been home.
BostonBruinsFan 8
I agree. Strongly.
BostonBruinsFan 8
With Kidd here.
Jazzy_B34r 12
was it made in China? cuz that might explain why...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes, the chinese are plotting to bring down capitalism, by purposely planting defective products to america. Something the U.S.S.R. couldn't do.
Hozu 3
That reminds me of that really toxic drywall from China that was so bad it could corrode the wires behind the walls.
cooldude469 0
Cool story bro
alphaskater09 9
The smoke probably overwhelmed the poor fire alarm causing him to panic and die.
BeccaHugs 17
Am I the only one who's thinking of when Pheobe from friends beat the shit out of her fire alarm? Haha
stealth69_fml 0
Wow time for some new wires!
PrimeStarscream 30
How about getting a new smoke alarm instead of whining here?
THE_A_TEEN 28
...and you're here because?