Today, my kitchen nearly burned down because the fire alarm didn't detect the plumes of smoke wafting through the kitchen. This is the same alarm that wails when I use the toaster. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was making dinner when my smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and waved a towel underneath it. After ten minutes, I realized the alarm wasn't reacting to the food. Its battery was dying. FML
Today, my smoke alarm has a tendency to give false alarms. Despite this, it did not go off at all when I was genuinely overcooking food and smoke was everywhere in the house, except for the room I was in. My smoke detector is plotting against me. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner when my smoke alarm started beeping. I opened the windows, turned on the fan, and checked everything twice. I then realized the noise wasn't the smoke alarm. It was my oven timer. I'd been cooking completely normally and panicking for no reason. FML
Today, I was making dinner when the smoke alarm started going off. I opened all the windows and stood there waving a towel at it like an idiot. Then I realized that the alarm was coming from the apartment next door. FML
Today, I found out that our smoke detector doesn't work when my roommate turned on the wrong burner while trying to cook. Our air fryer was on said burner, and it started to melt. It sat there for who knows how long until I noticed smoke everywhere and went to investigate. We don't have an air fryer now. FML
Today, my apartment smelled like something was burning, so I checked the oven, toaster, outlets, and even the hallway. After an hour, I discovered the smell was coming from the candle I had forgotten I'd lit in the bathroom. I had spent an hour investigating a fire that wasn't happening. FML
Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
Today, I was about to take a dump when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML
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Top comments
HaIlegra 2
Oh burn.
_Oblivion_ 12
It was letting you know your toast was done. Evidently your kitchen wasn't done toasting yet.
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Comments (199)
FweakofCydonia 40
Seriously, to the OP, you may need to relocate that alarm. Sometimes the location is a little far off, and it leads to unusual problems. My uncle is a firefighter, so he would always tell people this.
micahsmommy 13
Might be time to stop cooking if you create "plumes of smoke".
structuredchaoz 4
Well if you are burning toast daily, and setting things on fire, might mean it's time to stop leaving things cooking in the kitchen.
alexwarfield333 1
Op doesn't really use her word right.
alexwarfield333 1
Words***
ladyLALAA 29
Good take off, landing and execution, very poor.
alikayanna 0
No offense, but I'm not sure a new fire detector would do OP any good. How could you not notice your house nearly burning down? The smell alone would set off my own internal alarm. I suggest staying out of the kitchen unless under supervision.
kadyzoo182 2
Sorry about your kitchen, OP. My shower sets my smoke detector off- very aggravating!!
wowbroslowurroll 5
Dude that is a total FML.
fmlx24life 0
Well see the problem is, the alarm is in cahoots with the toaster plotting against u every step of the way. Ur smoke detector is probably going to sit in the corner of your room and watch u sleep tonight. Again
acidburnz1107 10
I can't run my stove and oven at the same tiime cuz mine goes off
hateevryone 15
that is bullshit. you need a new fire alarm.