Sex and Intimacy: Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled... - FML

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 955

You deserved it 7 568

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 497

You deserved it 6 363

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 302

You deserved it 3 508

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 5 611

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 320

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 210

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 360

You deserved it 3 117

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 315

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 367

You deserved it 8 000

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 242

Next

Top comments

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 19:00

It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:02

He probably wanted a footjob

Comments

0592635 0

Wednesday 29 April 2009 2:56

what a dick

joh04667 0

Thursday 30 April 2009 4:22

you need to get on top for once

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 1:14

um, thats rude. dump his ass!

Sportsfreak2034 0

Wednesday 24 June 2009 0:36

guys are pigs..they dont appreciate sex

Buuured 0

Saturday 11 July 2009 1:57

i wont get bored...

turbogirl 0

Monday 31 August 2009 7:36

I guess that's what happens when he has to **** you with a vibrator because he doesn't have a **** of his own. Hope you kicked his ass.

sux_2_b_you 0

Friday 2 October 2009 5:17

true dat hahahaha

Kelly0 0

Sunday 15 November 2009 4:25

omg, wow thats so bad. i feel hells sorry for you :| what a bitch fml

smashgrab 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 13:31

Sex is only fun when both people are participating. If I am having to do all the work and she is just laying there, I could get the same effect from a blowup doll without having to deal with the bitching that comes from everyday life! I would have rolled off too!

sevlen 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 5:29

lol fail

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The Top

Today, I asked out a girl I’ve been hanging out with for a few months. She said, “That’s kind of gross.” When I asked her about, it she said, “My friends will think you’re creepy” followed by, “You’re not actually a creep, they say you look like one.” I groom myself every day like a normal person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 101

Today, I was riding on the back of my dad's motorcycle. After a few minutes, the vibrations from the engine became way too much for me and I couldn't control myself. I had such an intense orgasm, sitting right behind my father, with my arms around his waist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 795

You deserved it 16 308

The Top

Today, at my job as a librarian at an old library, I was shelving books. Things were great until one entire bookshelf fell over. The damage wasn't too bad. Then the rest fell down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 112

You deserved it 3 873

Today, my marriage is one week away. Despite all the challenges we faced during COVID, we powered through everything. Today is also the day my work decided to tell me they're letting me go. I now have to either go on my improvised honeymoon or job hunt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 132

Today, at my first day working at Walmart, a customer asked if we have any egg cookers. I said I wasn't sure, but that I'd be "eggstatic" to go ask for him. The first clue I got to suggest he hated puns was him yelling "Don't get smart with me, boy!" and then threatening to kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 011

You deserved it 10 170

Today, I superglued the sole back into my shoe. Unfortunately, the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and my foot got superglued to my shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 509

You deserved it 12 611

Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 198

You deserved it 30 074

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 995

You deserved it 6 398