Sex and Intimacy: Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled... - FML

By nah - 04/02/2009 14:35 - United States

Spicy

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolled off of me without finishing, and said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 955

You deserved it 7 568

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By bellaboop1990 - 14/07/2009 22:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 497

You deserved it 6 363

You OK dude?

By kvdfan - 27/08/2012 12:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came over to see me after almost a month of us not spending time together. Unfortunately, he came straight from bar-hopping with his friends and was wasted. He's currently naked in bed, cooing at his penis, and giggling like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 302

You deserved it 3 508

By Anonymous - 22/11/2014 18:18 - Ireland - Kilkenny

Spicy

Today, I was having some rare good sex with my husband, when he suddenly said, "I'm fuckin' BORED," and pulled out so he could go play his video games. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 168

You deserved it 5 611

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 346

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 320

The Phone Call

By turnmyphoneoff - 24/09/2019 00:01

Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 946

You deserved it 210

By hannieannie - 09/02/2016 21:51 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, my boyfriend said he was too tired to have sex with me because he'd spent the whole day jerking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 360

You deserved it 3 117

By Noname - 27/01/2009 11:22 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep during phone sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 335

You deserved it 28 315

Honest

By fml1977 - 04/03/2010 06:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, in the middle of having sex, my girlfriend stopped moaning. I asked what was wrong. She said, "I'm bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 367

You deserved it 8 000

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 242

Next

Top comments

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 19:00

It sounds like you're bad in bed. I mean, the guy was drunk and still didn't enjoy it. Or maybe he's gay. One of the two.

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 18:02

He probably wanted a footjob

Comments

butterflyhearts 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 7:25

OOORRR he finshed in her and doesnt want her to know. So by saying"im bored" was his oh so clever cover up of his not so clever mistake :P Just sayin because my boyfriend did that to me.

brunettesara5722 17

Saturday 11 September 2010 10:42

ydi for being boring in bed!

areanii 0

Wednesday 4 May 2011 1:12

#17: That's what 'intimate' means dipshit. I'm 15 and I know this.

richieflow 3

Thursday 29 December 2011 12:09

Ur used up

kirstyannemiller 4

Tuesday 1 May 2012 21:59

OWhat does inebriated mean?:Q

mashfan6507 17

Tuesday 31 March 2015 13:46

Ydi for dating someone like that. Typical girl

MILF_SUZY 10

Friday 22 May 2015 5:02

THE WAY WEED IS THESE DAYS CAN MAKE MEN NOT BE ABLE TO CUM IF SMOKE IT DAILY TOO. (AND MAKE MEN NOT GET HARD AND NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE BABIES) WOW . HOW MEN BLAME THE WOMAN FOR A MAN BEING A DICK AND NOT BEING ABLE TO PERFORM IN BED. IF YOU STOP DRINKING ALCOHOL AND SMOKING WEED YOU WILL HAVE MUCH BETTER SEX. BECAUSE YOU CAN FEEL THINGS 95% MORE. THOSE THINGS MAKE YOU NUMB. THIS IS CLASSIC BLAMING THE VICTIM.

_awwhellnaw_ 45

Tuesday 30 June 2015 15:47

Don't have sex when drunk. It'll never turn out well.

Berber260 14

Sunday 22 November 2015 1:55

When you drink too much your senses get numb.it's not an FML for you. It's for him.

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 40 018

You deserved it 3 408

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I agree, your life sucks 745

You deserved it 100

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 67 444

You deserved it 3 388

Today, while looking through the newspaper, I saw that my sister got married a couple weeks ago. Not only did she not invite me, she "forgot" to mention it yesterday while we were having lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 065

You deserved it 88

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I agree, your life sucks 27 165

You deserved it 3 855

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I agree, your life sucks 13 645

You deserved it 53 928

Today, my piano teacher told me that she "forgot" to inform me that she volunteered me to play a 5 page song in a recital in front of 300 people that's happening next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 937

You deserved it 3 352

Today, I woke up to find both of my bank accounts frozen. My bank informed me that the IRS had ordered a freeze on my assets because of back taxes owed, and would not unfreeze them until the money is paid. The amount? $2.47. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 184

You deserved it 903