Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was called by my 9 year old son's teacher. He had handcuffed himself to his desk with handcuffs he found in my room. I was told to please bring in the key and not to leave my kinky toys out where a child could get them. I'm a cop. FML
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
Today, after much debate, my husband convinced me to let his scumbag brother babysit our seven-year-old son while we went out to a restaurant. When we got home, we found him teaching our son how to pick the lock to our liquor cabinet. My husband is unapologetic. FML
Today, my toddler thought it would be funny to hide my car keys. After searching for hours, I found them in his toy box. FML
Today, my one-year-old son locked me out of the house. I had no spare key and both him and my 4-month-old decided that was the perfect time to scream bloody murder. FML
Today, I asked my wife to keep our toddler confined while I hung a shelf. Of course, she didn't, and he came in and picked up a screwdriver. I tried to take it away, and he ran off giggling, only to trip and slice his forehead open. According to my wife, this is entirely my fault and she is taking him to her mom's. FML
Today, we went to an amusement park, or tried to. My idiot husband stuck his hand under his shirt like a gun and demanded free passes and "all the cash" as a joke. He's banned for life, they escorted us off the premises, and my children are inconsolable. FML
Today, two weeks after giving my daughter-in-law a severe scolding for forcing my son to do chores and babysit the kids on his days off, I went to visit them and found out that they'd changed the locks, so my key no longer works. FML
Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML
Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML
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Top comments
nonsensical 26
Honey, I cuffed the kids.
appygirlify 17
That's gonna be a bit of a mess. :/ Good luck op.
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Comments (56)
ColonelCusswords 24
He admitted his failure, go easy on him ????
Cagara_fml 10
I hope your husband is not a cop
lukian_fml 29
Easily solved with a locksmith or perhaps a visit to a police station (depending on the cuffs).
drunkturtle 14
I bet this doesn't happen every day, I'm sure the cops are going to have a lot of questions
pkypereira 11
Happy Father's Day!
SammieIsabella 15
There is a way, actually. It involves flexing the palm together as if you are the queen while she is waving at people. Anyone can get a cuff off once this happens, because the hand is in a position to slowly rotate the cuff until it's completely off.
frostedfoster 15
I must inquire about a couple of things... 1. Are either you or your husband a police officer? 2. If not... Were these cuffs from your... Pleasure chest? 3. If the answer to #2 was yes.. Why would your husband think it was okay to use said cuffs with your children? Either way... That is a pretty arresting situation... Hopefully the kids, and your husband, get off without a lawyer.
invadermaythe1st 35
Obviously the answer to #2 is no.
RayneSmytson 24
Often, unless they are serious BDSM cuffs, sexy time cuffs usually have release latches on each cuff.
jensenisbatman 12
Time to learn how to pick handcuffs
esamolwan 18
Look up videos on youtube on how to unlock them they're all around
vikky538 29
Now all you need is youtube video and a bob pin.