Today, my husband is sulking because I wouldn't let him do what he's always wanted to do: throw our cat out the second floor window to see if she would land safely and on all fours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I shut the door to the bedroom so my wife and I could have a serious talk. Unfortunately, the cat stuck his paw under the door and started flailing around, causing me to bust up laughing at a bad moment. My wife was furious, threw a water bottle at me, and locked me out overnight. FML
Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML
Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML
Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML
Today, my husband staggered home after a night of drinking. He was too intoxicated to find the toilet so he started to pee in the cat's litter box. Apparently, he was invading her territory and she attacked him. His scream as she bit and scratched him must have woken the whole world. FML
Today, my cat jumped out a fourth-story window when I went to pet her. FML
Today, my husband scraped his shin while trying to pull down our window blinds. He screamed and shouted at me, because it was "all my fault." How? I opened the blinds the day before, and rolled them up "too high." I'm staying married despite all this toxicity. FML
Today, I was relaxing on the sofa with the cat purring on my lap. My husband blasted an air horn. I'm now covered in cat scratches and piss, from both myself and the cat. I'm going to skin him. FML
Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML
Today, after an argument with my husband, I was sat in the front room calming down when the stupid cat decided she was going to jump up onto me, spilling a full coffee cup over my husband's PS5. He's convinced I did it on purpose after the argument, when it really was all the damn cat's fault FML
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Top comments
writerchic85 26
Throw your husband out the window to test the theory
i_wuz_nver_here 31
This is why cats hate us...
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Comments (115)
GrumpyGrinch 23
Husbands make a bigger thud noise when thrown out of second floor windows. Want to try?
SplineMan 4
Tell him the cat won't go until it sees if HE can land feet up first.
yomedudeo 12
Well, if he ever did your cat would be fine, a cats terminal velocity is non lethal, you could literally throw them out of an airplane (which someone did on accident) and the cat would land perfectly fine... Still, however, probably not the best idea
vanaathiel 13
Can't tell if trolling or actually really, really stupid
luk32 9
If he did it a hundred times on different cats and took notes he'd be an animal scientist. That's not even a joke.
Witchylady 18
Your husband is sick. Toss him from the window. Be careful he sounds like a serial killer in the making.
WaffleJesus 0
Hey! I posted something like this very recently, did you steal it from the moderate Fmls section?
AggieMike77 12
He's freaking dick head! Throw HIS ass out the window and see if he can land on TWO feet or his incredibly thick head.
doge750 16
"Just do it" Shai leboeof
One_Way 43
Lots of cat lovers on this site... I don't think the husband is psycho or wants to legitimately hurt the cat, he's just genuinely curious and wants to test the theory. He sounds childish and a bit dumb. OP, I don't think you need to divorce him, just set him straight.
BOBBYTHEPENIS 12
Einstein would drop that cat FOR SCIENCE!!!!!!