By Louis FML's "Guess the Saying"! Check out these guys and figure out what the saying is. Is it a saying? It's something in any case. 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Guatemala - Guatemala City Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 53632 You deserved it 6531 38 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML I agree, your life sucks 46267 You deserved it 3654 156 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Italy - Genova Today, I got stuck in the elevator at work. When I was finally let out, my boss decided I shouldn't get a lunch break, because I'd already had over an hour off work while in the elevator. I had to starve through 5 more hours of work. FML I agree, your life sucks 26659 You deserved it 1768 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Elephant1718 - United States - The Dalles Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML I agree, your life sucks 46771 You deserved it 3032 54 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Oriianna Raiinbow - United States Today, talking to my boyfriend about each others families, we noticed we both had an aunt with the same name. After a while of trying to figure things out, we decide to call her. Turns out that we are long distance cousins. FML I agree, your life sucks 58672 You deserved it 4539 222 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes Today, I saw my ex boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML I agree, your life sucks 26297 You deserved it 6658 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41061 You deserved it 3974 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jeezy - Canada Today, I was working my shift and my ex girlfriend came in to apply for a job. She broke up with me for another guy so i can't stand being in the same room as her. The manager talked to her and decided to hire her on the spot. I need to train her. FML I agree, your life sucks 61192 You deserved it 3273 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stacy - United States Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML I agree, your life sucks 70001 You deserved it 5223 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I woke up at 5:15, snow blowed and salted the driveway for over an hour, left early and drove an hour on shitty roads just to get to work on time only to be laid off. FML I agree, your life sucks 38772 You deserved it 1858 25 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By DatAss Today, I was out grocery shopping when some pervert decided to slap my ass as they walked by. As I turned around to confront them, I saw that the culprit was a 7 or 8-year-old boy. I was so shocked, speechless and angry that I couldn't even decide how to handle the situation. FML I agree, your life sucks 23906 You deserved it 2417 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By rainey - United States Today, my car alarm went off so I went outside to investigate. Apparently, the abundant rain water in my street had swept a trash can five houses down, only to be stopped by my car. My bumper was dented by a run-away waste receptacle. FML I agree, your life sucks 25307 You deserved it 2559 74 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Costa Rica Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 34198 You deserved it 1993 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, years after I stepped on a nail and had the wound stitched, I got an X-ray. I've had serious trouble walking, and it turns out I had 2.5 inches of nail living in the sole of my foot, stabbing up into my ankle joint. I now need major surgery. FML I agree, your life sucks 2777 You deserved it 206 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CollegeKID - United States Today, I went to orientation for college. They gave us a name tag and I tried to figure out how to put it on for a few minutes. After struggling with it I realized it was a sticker. FML I agree, your life sucks 7826 You deserved it 29759 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NotEnoughBleach - United States - Englewood Roommates from hell Today, while trying to sleep, my roommates were shouting in the next room. When I poked my head out to tell them to shut up, I was greeted by the sight of one of them with his knob duct-taped inside a gun holster, and the other one trying to rip it off. And they wonder why I'm not more social. FML I agree, your life sucks 17683 You deserved it 1318 52 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anxious spaghetti Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML I agree, your life sucks 3646 You deserved it 438 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wellthisishawkward - United States Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML I agree, your life sucks 25638 You deserved it 2873 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By - United States My electric toothbrush Today, I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 3458 You deserved it 276 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fishingforubies2 - Aruba - Oranjestad Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML I agree, your life sucks 27866 You deserved it 1829 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Philippines - Las Pi?as City Today, at preschool, I got to meet the mother of my daughter's best friend. She complimented mine's grades, and noted her quirkiness. I complimented her's for being congenial and being well-rounded. Later, my daughter said they are no longer besties because her mom said I called her daughter fat. FML I agree, your life sucks 21600 You deserved it 1654 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tarynfaye - United States Today, my boyfriend and I gave each other early Christmas gifts. I gave him a basketball signed by his favorite player, which took me forever to find. He got me diet pills. FML I agree, your life sucks 42900 You deserved it 4830 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By someonesomething - United States Today, one of the comic companies I submitted to, replied back. They said that the story was boring, and the main character bland, generic, uncultured, had no potential for personal growth, a suburbanite, and an ignorant shut-in. I based the personality of the main character on my own. FML I agree, your life sucks 28164 You deserved it 12718 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RAS266 Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML I agree, your life sucks 4443 You deserved it 497 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Broken - United States - Billerica Today, I took my nephew to the roller rink and I broke not one arm but both. Now I can't even wipe. FML I agree, your life sucks 21414 You deserved it 1769 59 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HidenSeek - United States Today, my mom and I were watching this movie in which some girls start making out. My mother calls them "sinners" and that they will "burn in hell twice". Then she says "God doesn't like gays". I'm a lesbian. I picked out this movie as a way of coming out. FML I agree, your life sucks 108601 You deserved it 17039 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - France Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 16013 You deserved it 38203 193 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazy_bitch122 - United States Today, while making love, he farted. And blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML I agree, your life sucks 41462 You deserved it 6275 200 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SwordFish8 - United States Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML I agree, your life sucks 13841 You deserved it 64346 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BigBangrocksthenight - United States Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML I agree, your life sucks 34475 You deserved it 10424 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Julieworld - 24/4/2020 08:00 Recycling helps Today, I was able to find the Facebook profile of my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, for whom he left me for. I had been curious about who she was, and when I zoomed in on her profile pic of them together, I noticed she was wearing the ring he'd got me for Christmas and that I'd given back to him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1457 You deserved it 721 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By no low five - United States Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML I agree, your life sucks 44761 You deserved it 6029 232 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By haytia22 - United States Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way its supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells "turn the gas off". FML I agree, your life sucks 17285 You deserved it 52149 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FMyCountry Today, during a football match, the referee declared a goal as invalid. The dad of the kid who scored didn't agree, which led to an all-out fight among all the kids' parents. FML I agree, your life sucks 2523 You deserved it 210 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Portland Today, I was told I've secured the job I applied for at my local hospital. Being just 19, this is a great opportunity, and I told my parents. They angrily asked if I'd applied just to get access to drugs, then demanded to know how I'd managed to pass the drug test. Thanks for the confidence. FML I agree, your life sucks 38264 You deserved it 2914 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By and she blames me -_- - Canada - Calgary Today, some ass-bandit broke into my house by smashing a window, just so he could steal the ancient VHS cassette player that my wife wouldn't let me throw away. Thanks, scumbag, but the front door was unlocked. FML I agree, your life sucks 49186 You deserved it 4329 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MCRxforever - United States Today, I was taking my dog on a walk when two younger looking boys rode their bikes up towards me. One said, "What about her?" The other boy said, "Nah, she's ugly." FML I agree, your life sucks 33773 You deserved it 3621 150 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unnamed - United States Today, I called my seven-year old son to help me with the ice-maker on the fridge because it wasn't working. Without even pausing, he turned the child lock off and started laughing at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 15483 You deserved it 39105 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Unluckiest Guy of the group - United States Today, my friends and I were having a conversation about which mythical creature would be the most unlikely to exist in the real world. They all collectively agreed that it would be a girl who is attracted to me. FML I agree, your life sucks 38649 You deserved it 4946 224 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Ponchatoula Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML I agree, your life sucks 22626 You deserved it 2018 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Exaspera | 54 #7438569 - Thursday 13 April 2017 23:46 "Oh, Fuck!" Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By Talented73 | 54 #7439634 - Sunday 16 April 2017 1:22 Has the shit hit the fan yet? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Exaspera | 54 #7438569 - Thursday 13 April 2017 23:46 "Oh, Fuck!" Send a private message 4 1 Reply
By wickedgetz | 29 #7438716 - Friday 14 April 2017 8:52 A what the FUCK !!! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By dntbeadouche | 25 #7439171 - Saturday 15 April 2017 5:07 are you fucking kidding me right now? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
By Talented73 | 54 #7439634 - Sunday 16 April 2017 1:22 Has the shit hit the fan yet? Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent... I agree, your life sucks 99 You deserved it 22 1 Comments
Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much... I agree, your life sucks 697 You deserved it 155 7 Comments