Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I asked my girlfriend when she'll be having her period, since she was acting pretty bitchy the last time around. She duct taped my leg hair and ripped it off while I was napping. FML
Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML
Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML
Today, I woke up with a wax strip on my chest and my girlfriend sitting next to me on the bed laughing. She pulled the strip. I screamed. FML
Today, I found out that if you cry yourself sleep and forget to take off your mascara, your top and bottom lashes will stick together. Leaving you unable to open your eyes. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML
Today, I woke up from a short nap, only to find two waxing strips stuck to my eyebrows. I now have very little of my eyebrows remaining, and just as little idea which idiot in my family pulled this stupid excuse of a prank. FML
Today, as part of our prank war, my girlfriend found a hairy tarantula picture and stuck it on the wall. I hadn't yet told her I'm arachnophobic, and when I saw it I passed out and hit my head hard enough to need an ambulance. She decided she's won the war and I don't get a say in the matter. FML
Today, my girlfriend slapped a waxing strip on my beard because she is sick of quarantine and wanted to lash out at someone. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
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Top comments
Tequilamockngbrd 7
Whenever an FML starts out with "My boyfriend/girlfriend/etc. thought..." you know it's going to end up being horrible. Now all kinds of dust and stuff will get into your eyes. ]: If you're feeling mean, you can do the same thing to your girlfriend. If you're feeling less mean, you can make her buy you fancy fake eyelashes (ooh, maybe with rhinestones!) until yours grow back.
lizzzie_fml 0
You've got a winner there !
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Comments (96)
toink 0
bad idea. she needs her thonge for the oral test.
mojo143 0
oh...that sounds bad. I say you dump her before she realizes how strange her boyfriend looks with no eyebrows. ;)
BeeSkwaird 0
Some people just don't think through things first (Meet The Robinsons, anyone?).
kittenmeow 0
man u have a very stupid girlfriend. Fire her.
roviraz 0
lolol
Julle_fml 0
That really sucks! She sounds like quite the idiot...
Witchcraft_fml 5
Ouch. Guilt trip. Sex everyday until your eyelashes grow back!
perdix 31
That sounds like a fair plan, but what's to keep him from secretly shaving his eyelashes daily?
Witchcraft_fml 5
All's fair in love and war. And sex. :] I just hope he doesn't give away his game by slicing his eyeball!
perdix 31
If she's good at it, it's worth the risk.
Witchcraft_fml 5
She better be good at it if she's going to rip out all his eyelashes.
sbongy 0
awesome typo, i bet her thong will land her an awesome mark at her oral test
xocaligirl21 0
hahah i cant even describe how funny that is. sorry dude.
beethoven_fml 0
dude where the hell did you find a girl that dumb