Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice....

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 18 696

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By bootyislife - 16/06/2015 20:01 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 664

You deserved it 7 394

Double-edged sword

By Janitoro - 23/11/2012 01:19 - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 403

You deserved it 9 205

By hitintheeye - 26/11/2011 15:09 - Canada

Today, before my girlfriend gave me a blow job, she put on goggles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 605

You deserved it 17 143

By TeeJay - 01/06/2009 14:06 - United States

Today, it was my birthday, and my wife gave me a sex toy for self-masturbation. She even showed me how to properly use it so I can masturbate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 454

You deserved it 7 475

By Anonymous - 16/08/2015 15:49

Today, my girlfriend told me she wants to have sex with my ass. I'm not sure she's taking "no" for an answer, seeing as how she's keeping a dildo on her nightstand and is clearly waiting for me to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 902

You deserved it 3 554

By whattheheck - 04/06/2012 04:34 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I found out that my new girlfriend breastfeeds her dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 131

You deserved it 3 471

Miscommunication

By Anonymous - 25/10/2012 05:45 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 687

You deserved it 18 554

Very funny, Dad

By Anonymous - 20/05/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I had my new girlfriend over for dinner. Halfway through the meal, my dad started poking her with his fork. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he barked back, "Just making sure she isn't a blow-up doll!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 628

You deserved it 4 627

Careless Whisper

By ihatejasonderulo - 02/09/2014 15:32 - United Kingdom - Hounslow

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 662

You deserved it 9 961

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 327

You deserved it 6 317

O_0 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 11:24

If i where you at this point i would practice...give her an amazing ****** and then stop having sex with her.

Dr_Phil 0

Thursday 5 February 2009 18:44

Dude you need to dump her. I'm picking up a ****-vibe from her. She's going to eventually cheat on you.

Comments

protooler31 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 21:32

haha! you better practice cause if you can't make her cum, she's gonna dump you for someone that can!

lover44 0

Sunday 3 January 2010 8:11

she wants the best pleasure and for you to' have it to'. but you cant really do it with a doll go get some live meat

SIMRRF 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 1:25

Hahaha! That's awesome. :)

bubbadubs 0

Thursday 18 March 2010 17:05

a blow up doll to do what?!?!

DanyelleH 2

Monday 12 April 2010 7:10

Ouch, that's a slap in the face. Haha

sassyjesSa 0

Thursday 29 April 2010 8:47

WTF haha that's hella stupid! poke a hole in it deflate it lol

little2103bit 0

Friday 30 April 2010 6:20

What a bitch....

sextacular 0

Tuesday 25 May 2010 0:37

lmao

gbaby2454 0

Thursday 17 June 2010 21:07

win

egging 0

Wednesday 23 June 2010 7:44

aw, how considerate!

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Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML

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