Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML
Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a Smurf. FML
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
I would not like it Sam I am.
mrbattleman 10
Sounds fun to me.
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Comments (156)
killatrev 4
Dam I wish my girlfriend would do that.
Ponponpon_fml 5
That's actually really cute :3
humnahey 5
Dont worry if it looks like youre pooing blood...
buckdharma 38
If you do not like green eggs and ham, then red fish, blue fish, should be your new dish.
KiddNYC1O 22
I don't see anything wrong with that... Seems amusing.
pnutbutternjelly 15
Whatever. That sounds awesome. Bright colors make everything more fun. Of all the real problems in you're life you post this? I would be so happy if my boyfriend cooked me a delightfully colorful meal. Your lucky. And your girlfriend cooks for you, so yet lucky there too.
aliabchal 7
Thanks for the the literal LOL!! You guys are awesome!!! Fond childhood memories. Blue mashed potatoes
KillerPotato 14
That gives me ideas. I happen to have food coloring, yay!
littlefro2012 9
Lucky!
EvilUndead 9
1. You have a girlfriend. 2. She cooks for you. 3. Her cooking is edible. ... You have nothing to complain about. ENjoy your situation.