Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML
Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a Smurf. FML
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
I would not like it Sam I am.
mrbattleman 10
Sounds fun to me.
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Comments (156)
jamesman5995 4
That... Sounds pretty cool haha
love_me_electric 20
I definitely want to try this now!
stallingsjason 6
Artificial colors look great. They make food look vibrant and appealing. The majority of food colors are made with petroleum. They are a derivative of Petrochemicals and Coal tar. These chemicals are in no way made to be ingested by humans or any other animal. In fact, food dye is pulled off of the market regularly because of health concerns. Yellow #2 food dye will likely be the next to go. It's be shown to cause ADHD, multiple types of cancer, male sterility, and many other issues. Blue 2: linked to brain tumors in mice Green 3: linked to bladder cancer back in 1981 Yellow 3: known to cause some mild allergic reactions – especially in people who are sensitive to aspirin Yellow 6: associated with cancer of the adrenal glands and kidneys as well as possible allergic reactions Red 3: was considered for banning in 1983 because of a possible link to thyroid tumors It may look pretty but it's harmful to your body
buckdharma 38
He blinded me with science.
Xotoolyxo 16
She's just going through a phase, she'll get over It
starrzy 5
Now you get shit rainbows!
DeadxManxWalking 27
As long as it doesn't kill you, have fun! Dr. Suess is awesome btw.
Heythereguys 8
lol the health freaks who are terrified of calories showed up. a calorie as defined by science is the amount of energy needed to raise one gram of water by 1°C. all it is is the energy that is releases from the chemical rxns taking place during digestion.that energy is turned into atp or adenosine triphosphate. these molecules allow your muscles to move. extra energy is stored as fat chains in the adipose cells. people believe that high fructose corn syrup is bad because it contains lots of fructose molecules aka sugar. it is a different sugar than glucose but can be easily converted through runs into glucose. the more you know the better you are. edit: carp wanted to reply to #2
Heythereguys 8
meant #3
EvilUndead 9
There's also "dietary calorie" which is a different unit - 1000x chemical calorie.
c0c0_fml 16
Your girlfriend is awesome!! That reminds me of summer camp when I was 8. We got blue and red milk and ate dessert first. Best day of my life!
oh_lordy_me 18
That sounds awesome!
jpnitrox3 8
Does she make green eggs and ham?