Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML
Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a Smurf. FML
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
I would not like it Sam I am.
mrbattleman 10
Sounds fun to me.
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Comments (156)
strawberrywine22 30
I did that when I was about fifteen. Even now I make green eggs and ham for Dr Seuss Day every year! It doesn't change the taste of the food, so just let her have her fun. She'll get over it soon enough.
Connect 10
It's weird how things just doesn't seem to taste the same if they're the wrong color, even though they do of course.
Enslaved 38
I remember Heinz made green and purple ketchup! It tasted the same but my mind refused to accept that it did. (: It was too weird!
jem970 19
Oh god I remember that. I refused to eat the stuff. It just looked wrong!
DanielleinDC 34
Yeah, and that didn't last very long, did it? Kids enjoyed playing with multicolored ketchups as long as their parents would buy them, and then the trend died out. Chances are, OP, your girlfriend will play around with food coloring for a bit and then find another culinary disaster to inflict upon you.
Rancor 5
That green ketchup was a demonspawn, sent to destroy the ketchup industry from the mustard assholes.
KhaleesiDannie 26
I remember one time we ran out of regular ketchup and my mom had to use the green to make chili... no one could eat it because it looked like baby shit
EpicSquishii 21
I'm a fan of your girlfriend. If you dont want her, I'll take her. Not for sexual purposes, mind you, but for awesome, super fun meal times. Be happy she's interesting!
Connect 10
I bet you had all the guys a little excited till you mentioned "not for sexual purposes".
akiahara 14
I fail to see the problem with this. Taste the rainbow.
onorexveritas 24
Dr Seuss books are awesome though!
Joe9024 20
She's got a good sense of humor and she's cooking?? And your here complaining because...?
andrealovvve 17
She JUST found that out?? Does she live under a rock or somethin? Lol but it's fun to do that with some foods thoo.
hamusta 13
Put your big boy pants on and cook your own damn food then
GrinchFu1 27
That's actually quite adorable!
olhuma 5
You are not cooking often enough for her... Her way to say: your turn, mate! YDI