Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find my girlfriend had dyed her hair a ridiculous bright color. She knows I absolutely fucking despise brightly colored hair on women. FML
Today, I found out that the reason my soda always tastes funny is because my fiancé likes to mix different flavors together to see if I'll notice. FML
Today, my mom was feeling down because of her gray hairs. In an attempt to cheer her up, I suggested that she dye them. Her hair turned orange. FML
Today, I came home to find that my girlfriend had repainted my bedroom. As she had offered to do it, it shouldn't have been a problem. However, she decided to return the several unopened cans of off-white paint that I'd bought for something "more neutral." Like "Sunset Orange." FML
Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML
Today, my roommate pranked me by putting blue food coloring in the shower head. I have class in 20 minutes and look like a Smurf. FML
Today, I noticed we had gotten new colored toothpicks at the restaurant I work at. That was the highlight of my day. Apparently my life has gotten so boring I get excited over colored toothpicks. FML
Today, my daughter found a bag of googly eyes I'd bought for a craft project I'd completely forgot about. She spent the day sticking them on random objects around the house. I now have a microwave that looks like it’s judging me for using it too much instead of actually cooking. FML
Today, I went to visit my aunt who recently was released from an institution. She had leftover Christmas cookies so I began snacking on them. They tasted a bit off so I inquired about the ingredients. She told me they only had white icing so she used Crayola markers to give them color. FML
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Top comments
joshiepo0 18
I would not like it Sam I am.
mrbattleman 10
Sounds fun to me.
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Comments (156)
Sammitheshit 10
Whoa.. WIN
aardvarkish 17
She sounds awesome to me.
False_Stupidity 42
Puts a whole different spin on 'taste the rainbow' But really, she sounds awesome.
cwjb99 9
Well it could be worst you know
JerryH 9
I do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them Sam i Am
Aregonde 15
If you don't like it (and I know I wouldn't, either--rainbow desserts are fine, but hot pink marinara over teal noodles would turn me off), just tell her so and offer to make your own meals on days she feels like going color-happy. I dated a guy who liked to cook and often got adventurous with it. If you don't like something, be honest (while showing appreciation for her effort) the first time, otherwise you can expect more of it in the future.
Raesin 21
You're moaning because your girlfriend likes to cook for you on a regular basis? Poor you OP. The food colour novelty will wear off after a while and your food will go back to the colour it's supposed to be, if you're scared to tell her you don't like it, you'll just have to wait it out.
LightsxOut 10
Oh, the foods you can cook!
Cupcake040 17
Does it taste good? And this would make my day if someone did this, but by the sounds of it she's gone too far I would have a talk with her.
SuperDanielNL 23
Take Acid, perhaps then the food will look normal, or those green eggs and purple pancakes start talking to you.