Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my blind date thought the best way to start off is to show up blind drunk. She ended up puking on the table and leaving me to pay. FML
Today, I went on a blind date that my friends set up. Not only did my date visibly recoil at the sight of me, she ended up trying to convince me that we're actually cousins. When I told her how absurd that was, she muttered, "Fuck it" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. FML
Today, my idiot friends set me up on a blind date. It was about to go well, until her glass eye fell out onto my hand. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. He took one look at me and said, "Well, we might as well get a drink anyway." FML
Today, I was going on a blind date with a girl. She walked up to the table, said "Nah, no thanks" and left. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I went on a blind date set up by a friend. Everything was going great until I accidentally called my date by my ex’s name. Twice. My date promptly excused herself to the restroom and never came back. FML
Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML
Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML
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Top comments
greeneyedpothead 10
Is it just me or does anyone else think kissing on the first date is a little too much too soon? That's just my opinion though.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
Especially a blind date
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Comments (93)
jenniiienyc 5
Sounds like a bitch to me. Couldn't she just say something like "Sorry, I don't kiss on first dates." Wow, some girls just genuinely suck.
Dixbfloppin 11
I like it when girls just genuinely suck. (;
jenniiienyc 5
Oh dear God..
captainburke 5
Sheesh, since when do people use NOT being intoxicated to get out of an awkward situation? I'm sorry op, that sucks and is awkward.
jaytee1994 9
Never try and kiss in the first date!! Ad you DO NOT do it I a blind date. You kinda walked into that one. Sorry that she was so mean to say that tho OP /:
Notyourrobot13 5
She could have said something nicer to avoid the kiss...
KingCeltic77 18
Maybe she just doesn't kiss on the first date. Don't worry OP.
DocBastard 40
Slick move, Casanova. As she walked away you should've yelled after her, "SO I GUESS A **** IS OUT OF THE QUESTION?" Sounds to me like she did you a favour. She sounds a bit prudish. No kissing on the first date? What is this, 1958?
j_cat187 20
In this case using the word shagging in place of ******* would seem better. ******* sounds too aggressive.
br0ccoli 15
Don't worry, OP. One day, you will find that special girl who loves you unconditionally, enemas and all.
br0ccoli 15
:)
SqueakyChipmunk 22
Well, at least you have My Little Pony.
ipanisse 5
Friend zoned!