Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML
Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I misplaced my phone at small house party. I found it later, but not before being called a sick bastard by my crush. It seems one of my "friends" sent her a cock pic with my phone, and now she wants nothing to do with me. FML
Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML
Today, someone took my phone away. Why? Because I was texting my ex-boyfriend who cheated on me with one of my friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML
Today, I was chatting with my girlfriend and I asked her to give me her phone to make a call since mine was dead. A text came in from someone and the name sounded familiar. My best friend has been dating my girlfriend longer than I have, and she gave him head. I kissed her earlier that day. FML
Today, my friend's phone rang in class and my teacher thought it was me, so now I have detention for a week. FML
Today, when I was done masturbating to the thought of my crush I noticed my phone was lit up. I turned it over and stared in horror as I saw a call connected to him. I had been loudly moaning his name. I guess I hit his speed dial when I was setting my phone down. He was definitely still on the line. FML
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Top comments
kamikrazy 6
Do the same thing to her.
Wuuper 0
nice friend
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Comments (150)
Anteezy 7
Did your friend get hearing aids?
KMilliron 2
I'm hearing impaired so I took your post literally for a while and I didn't get it... Hahaha. Phone sex= audio stds. Made my day. Totally gonna use that when people ask why I have hearing aids. :D Thank you.
snippyxD 7
this is when you text him and go "haha jk!" lol
jess6blondie9 3
Or tell him so screw off.
KMilliron 2
To which he'll reply "no thanks I'm done"
sleepydeath 4
^win^
houstontxmex 0
Tell him that it was your friend that sent the messages and that she wants him to put it in her dookey chute!
kayvan 8
Tell him that you're not a couple, then tell him that your "friend" has had a crush on him for a long time and that's why she pretended to be you. Tell him her schedule and let him know that she likes grand gestures like serenading her in public or delivering a large bouquet of flowers to her workplace. Problem solved.
Dallyni 22
hahaha win!
j2013t 0
thats right!
hunterfreed31 0
haha thats an awesome idea!
Firebalone 13
That person isn't your friend!
619warrior281 5
you know whats even more disturbing? she was most likely touching your phone, AND herself at the same time....
xoxoMEGANxoxo 13
I had a stalker once.....he still stalks me. O.o
fthku 13
Tell him what happened, and then think of a creative way to show your friend it's not right to **** with people like that- and by that I don't mean you, I mean the kid. That "creepy" boy who's following is probably just a shy nerdy kid who wouldn't (couldn't?) harm anyone.
krez 20
Or he's a cannibal rapist. You never can tell.
fthku 13
A rapist who targets cannibals? What the **** are the odds of that?
hcovballer247 0
Haha that's not a friend. That's a best friend. That sounds like something EXACTLY my best friend would do(:
makkwheel 0
does she get birch slapped often.? if she was my friend, she would.!
Kasanovastar 18
What a messed up friendship
xXDubbleChic 11
iv been stalked b4. it sucks.