Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. He took me to a restaurant where I was allergic to practically everything on the menu. I sneezed five or six times within the first 15 minutes and spent the rest of the lunch awkwardly trying to explain I wasn't allergic to him, just the food and spices floating around us. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
Today, my friend set me up on a blind date, to get my mind off having been recently broken up with. The guy was perfect: tall, muscular, handsome. But while we were watching a movie, I saw him dig around in his nose, then wipe his finger on my pants. FML
Today, I was on a date with a girl and everything was going great. As I took her back to her house and walked her to her door, I leaned in for a kiss. She seemed to really enjoy it, so I went for another but as I leaned in again, I sneezed uncontrollably, shooting her face with saliva and snot. FML
Today, I went home with the guy I’ve been casually seeing. His place was a disgusting pigsty so I made an excuse to leave. Later he texted me, ending things. Online I saw him bitching about how no one can pass his “girlfriend test” and that a real woman would happily clean for her man. FML
Today, I felt comfortable enough to invite the guy I’ve been seeing over to my apartment for the first time. Things immediately got weird when he started to inspect my place top to bottom to make sure it was “clean to his standards”. I told him to leave when he started going in my closet. FML
Today, my friend fixed me up with a guy from her workplace. I'm painfully shy, so I really appreciated it and was looking forward to meeting him, since she described him as very sweet. Once the date got started, he continuously made fun of my speech impediment, until I finally left in tears. FML
Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML
Today, I was making out with a guy I really like. Midway through, he stopped and said he had to sneeze. After waiting several seconds, he said the urge went away and we kept making out. Ten seconds later, he violently sneezed in my open mouth. FML
Today, I had a first date. We really hit it off and wound up watching movies together and talking late into the night. I ignored a developing migraine all night, then tried to leave hurriedly when it got bad. He stalled me leaving by asking what's wrong. I started vomiting. FML
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Top comments
Rynk95 11
Not worth the effort.
GoWithTheFro 10
Well he'SNOT good enough for you :D
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Comments (116)
Cokolia 7
Are u sure that was the reason? I mean maybe he just thought u were ugly....
chili10 18
I feel like an asshole, but I was thinking the same thing.
perdix 31
You expect him to be with a vector? Are you crazy? Let's face it: He might be nice to look at, but the sex wouldn't be worth a shit. He'd put on double condoms and insist you shove a dental dam into your ****, so you'll be vaguely aware of some pressure on your genital region. And forget Colonel Angus . . .
majorasshole 4
**** his life, not yours.
xoxo_Becky_xoxo 0
Yikes; way to dodge that one. On the bright side: at least your apartment's clean now and this will be a funny story sooner or later.
RedCamaro10 0
At least he wasn't a dick about it.
sietseld 13
If he is really that phobic that he would freak out over a sneeze (seriously, people sneeze all the time from dust, bright light, and other non-germ reasons!) then you are better off w/o him.
White_Knightspc 0
I thought all high maintenance men were gay. Guess I was wrong.
ImSoEffedUp 10
Wow, what would've happen if u kissed OR touched him for that matter.....
joee182 3
that guy is a biggity bitch
Epic_Times 10
Don't worry OP he obviously isn't good enough for you.