Today, while driving home from basketball practice, I noticed an old lady struggling to get up from a fall. I stopped to help her up and make sure she was fine, and in the meantime, a teenager decided to hop into my car and crash it into a telephone pole and run away. FML

Don't drugs and drive

Today, a friend of mine borrowed my car, drove it on drugs, fell asleep at the wheel, and smashed it. Don’t worry though, he’s fine, but my car was described as a “write off”. FML

Gross, dude!

Today, I picked up my 3 friends from a party. One of them drank too much and claimed she needed to throw up. I pulled over multiple times so she could. It didn't happen until we were right in front of her house and still inside my car. FML

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

Today, my best friend thought it would be funny push me off my bike. He thought it was even funnier when the paramedic accidentally dropped me. FML

Prank culture has gone too far

Today, on the bus, my blood sugar level got too low and I passed out. When I came to, the woman next to me was hitting me, saying she needed to get off and that she didn't have time for my, "stupid fucking prank." FML

Funny how?

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

Today, one of my friends made it to school. He has been sick recently, missing days out of the week. When I saw him, I greeted him with, "Were you dying yesterday?" Apparently he wasn't, but his grandmother really did. FML

With friends like these…

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML