Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to see my 8-year-old cousin licking my hand. All of it. FML
Today, one of my preschool students hit me in the nuts in front of my whole class. If that wasn't bad enough, the blow to my crotch instantly triggered a very audible fart. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little boy. I opened up a new bottle of bubbles and it was all goopy and gross so I said, "Eww!" The boy then asked, "What's "ew" mean?" I replied, "Something gross and yucky." Then he pointed at my face and say "Ew! Ew! Ewwww!" FML
Today, I went to a big family dinner. At one point, my cousin ran up to me, sobbing hysterically, holding his crotch, and making a huge scene. Turns out that while taking a piss, he "accidentally" swatted his willy with an electric bug zapper. I can't believe I'm related to this little shit. FML
Today, my daughter and husband surprised me at work. A whole bunch of my co-workers were standing around me when she ran up and hugged me. Her face is level with my crotch. She immediately jumped back from the hug and said, "Ewwww, smells like fish." FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, a kid in class kept chatting to his friend, and was made to swap seats. Every time the guy he swapped with moved, the stench from his armpits wafted over. It smelled like nacho cheese crossed with ball sweat. It got so bad that I eventually had to go dry heave in the toilets. FML
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Cloudy_fml 0
Gotta love kids, eh? ;) Maybe you should work on your *hygiene*... He probably only said it because it's true.
AliSama 17
he is 4 years old. What do you expect? Even if you are well groomed, people sweat, and they sweat a lot in that area due to hair concentration etc. it's life.
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Comments (89)
dandelionwine 0
44 is an ASSHOLE.
Vivelle 0
Lolz! I've had a similar situation happen to me! But I was never called stinky :( Cause that srsly sucks for joo :P ! Haha Clean your crotch Ladie!!!! XD
HannahJOY 0
Hahahahah thats so funny LMAO but #44 is so mean thats so rude to say #17 that was nice to say
balanceMMX 0
your cousin has been learning greeting techniques from dogs, literally
Emmett_Luver_101 0
ouch and i highly doubt this is a guy, but if it was lol look at all the excuses about your period making it smell bad :P
yanarach 0
....lol. Kids and their honesty xD
24788 7
At least it wasn't your boyfriend who said that.
arleslie 0
I'm trying to figure out why your 4yo cousin would pull "it" out...
technobutterfly 0
@hoff- LMAO
secret576 0
What grade are you in? Ew!!! Thay sucks! Don't you wash down there? Lmfao! :D