Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BrittanyPernell6 0
what a screwed up loser he doesn't deserve you or your little girl
Carpy 8
Blurting that out was uncalled for especially in front of his own daughter. OP, best of luck ripping him dry with child support. You & your daughter deserve better. FYL
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (244)
Beffink 0
That's actually awful :/ I can't understand why anyone would put their child or their wife in that situation. I bet you regret ever marrying that dick
MrXerxes5 6
what if the kid just wants them to get a divorce so they can have twice the stuff? kids are EVIL! It is sad though the day a child tells her mom the husband wants a divorce.
Yousuck24 21
Actually, that sounds crazy enough for it to work!
Firebalone 13
kids are innocent at that age. they mimic what they see. so ya wanna blame someone, blame the adults!
Shadow4i5 3
that's smart because when I was 5 I culd think of plans like that
shaniecerb 0
im sure you dont remember when you were 5 years old
thebestof1984 0
Your ex is a ******* loser that doesn't even deserve to have visitation rights with your 5 year old daughter if he told her that.
thefmlinator 10
HE DOESN'T WANT THE KID
dustbunny10 0
just because he said she can have the daughter doesn't mean he does not want to visit the daughter as well... maybe he just don't want to take care of her. >.< what an asshole of him!!
thebestof1984 0
He's still an asshole. If my children's father said that shit to my 5 year old I would refuse visitation rights. Why should he deserve to visit the kid if he's telling his 5 year daughter basically I don't want you?....
TheDrifter 24
Perhaps his wife is a bitch like you and he knows the only way to save his sanity is to leave NOW.
thebestof1984 0
Thanks for calling me a bitch! You should NEVER tell that to a little girl no matter how ****** up the relationship or the woman is. If you want out fine, don't make the little girl think she did something wrong.
vanquish83 0
Atleast your daughter being sincere =)
roperap 0
16 ! UR Scary
cunwin0907 0
Wow... I feel that is the lowest of the low. What an unbelievable cowardly thing to do, for him to involve your child to begin with. But to actually have her tell you? That is not only disturbing but yet very disgusting of a father to tell his little girl to do. I sincerely feel for you and pray that you as a mother get through this gracefully as much as you can.
rattusrattus 19
Well, he might not have told the five year old girl directly, she could have overheard him. Still bad. You check before you say stuff like that!
zandermander 1
ur husband is a dick
didijustdie 0
Why the hell is this comment thumbed down? He's absolutely right!
crazychild96 5
well put!
Livinia 11
Wow, he is beyond a jerk. He doesn't deserve to have you girls.
Chibiko 9
Your husband (or ex) is a pathetic excuse for a man. For him to resort to using your daughter as a messenger of something so serious, he should check whether his testicles are, in fact, still attached to him.
phatdaddy62 23
that's not what I heard Kevarou
aliceisbored 11
that's just cruel
MrXerxes5 6
i agree w/ #3 a lot of people out there do messed up things so it'd be good to have a license for parenting. Foster care people do (if i remember correctly).
djewel6 0
yeah foster parents have licenses but that don't mean crap plenty of then are abusive and money hungry sobs as well. not all are altruistic in there desires to help kids and what not