Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Same thing different taste
Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML
Today, my 5-year-old daughter said "Mommy, why doesn't anyone wanna marry you?" I've been asking myself the same question for all too many years. FML
Today, I explained to my 5 year old daughter that her older sister from my husband's first marriage lives with her mommy, and my daughter lives with us. She exclaimed, "It's not fair! I want two mommies like she has! Can we swap, I like her mommy better than you anyway!" FML
Today, my four-year-old asked me when I was going to die. I replied "Not for a long time, why?" He looked at me and stated "Because I only want to live with Daddy." FML
Today, my eldest daughter announced she was getting divorced. She never even told me she was married. FML
Thanks for the help
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Thanks, kids
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with something like, "Yay! I want to live with Daddy! He buys better presents!" Their father has literally never bought anything for them, one of the many reasons I'm divorcing him. FML
Wise words
Today, my five year-old daughter came up to me and told me she wanted to be a nun. When I asked why, she replied, "So I won't get my heart broken by a boy." FML
Romance is dead
Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML
Mystery man
Today, as I was taking my three year-old daughter home from daycare, she asked where her daddy was. I tried to tell her that I was her father, but she answered, "No, not you! My other daddy!" I've got some talking to do tonight. FML
Top comments
BrittanyPernell6 0
what a screwed up loser he doesn't deserve you or your little girl
Carpy 8
Blurting that out was uncalled for especially in front of his own daughter. OP, best of luck ripping him dry with child support. You & your daughter deserve better. FYL
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Comments (244)
Karma_apoc 8
I doubt if she was such a horrible bitch the dude would want HER to have the child, unless he's messed in the head too. Poor kid.
sillyhavelgirl 0
that poor baby! :(
vbmg152 19
What a loser! Give him what he wants, you both deserve better!!
Imjaypeelol 0
wow.. completely messed up !
rjflores 0
that douche bag.
Skatejock21 0
5 year olds don't lie
Gerrito 0
That's a prank for sure.
jasonc74 2
I'm going through a divorce and we have a 5 yr old daughter. My daughter means the world to both of us. We would never abandon her or drag her into the divorce. I just don't understand the selfishness of people sometimes. I'm sorry you are having to go through this and wish you the best.
RockstarRN 10
Poor baby girl. Take her and run!
IbanezSprinter 0
Whoa. A-hole! He used your child to do that? It's bad enough that the divorce will put the child through hell but to use her like that too? that's messed up...