Today, my family, grandma included, took some time to discuss whether or not olive oil is a suitable substitute for lube. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband wanted to use bacon grease as lube. FML
Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML
Today, my dad asked me to unpack the groceries he'd brought home. When he saw me come across a bottle of lube, then he told me how my mom had hit menopause and, as a result, her vaginal dryness made sex harder for the two of them. FML
Today, my grandma and I went shopping. When I picked up some shower gel, she started ranting in front of everyone that shower gel injures one's "lady parts" and causes infertility, and that she wants me to give her great-grandchildren. FML
Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Today, a man walked through my line with a XL bottle of lotion and many boxes of tissues. As I was ringing him up, the customer broke the silence by saying, "Yeah my son won't stop using the cooking oil for his 'personal time'", finger-air-quotes and all. FML
Today, I was eating out with my partner, and we decided to use the new lube we bought. Things went great until I later realized I was allergic to it and a large red rash spread all across my mouth and chin. It won't go away. FML
Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML
Today, I ran out of my usual hand lotion that I use for 'me time'. I instead decided to try and us my after shave lotion as a replacement. Apparently, my member doesn't agree with one of the ingredients, and has now swollen to the size of my fist. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Earths_Venus 25
Well, no, because oil degrades latex in condoms. Unless you're not using condoms, in which case it's fine, but might stain the sheets. Best to avoid it.
BlackHawkSavior 28
Well... enlighten us, is it or is it not?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Bad for condoms. Bad for a woman's ph balance.
Elgrin 15
Spoiler alert: it is.
beef_weezle 13
For anal sex without condoms it will work just fine if nothing else is available. It will make a gawd awful mess though...
annalily5 28
Maybe for anal, but otherwise sounds like a potential yeast infection.
minagiv 11
It's good for handies, but you end up craving fried chicken afterwards.
Grisha_fml 18
we are all waiting OP, you've invested time in this discussion and we all want to know, is it really?
Grisha_fml 18
gosh guys, why are you making everything sexual? They were discussing if it can be used to lubricate door hinges so they won't squeak. SMH...
booperdooper222 10
Onision wtf!
booperdooper222 10
Sorry I meant onion boy
frontmanmike 14
Only if there are no condoms. For bareback work? Sure, it's organic and all that good stuff.
acidbeastmode88 4
your Grandma sounds like a legend