Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I tried to let out a small fart in a crowded restaurant. I had diarrhea. I walked past several families to get to the bathroom and clean myself up, only to still go home with a huge wet spot down my ass. My shirt wasn't long enough to hide it. FML
Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheBrickWithouse 10
i have one word for you: buckets. Seriously though, FYL.
prelim_champ 10
The visual image of a "diarrhea fountain" is quite vomit-inducing...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (176)
ProudTexan117 0
lame.....totally not cool....
Salkadi 9
I really didn't want a mental image of a diarrhea fountain
kissingdeath 0
SHIITake muSHROOMS anyone??
Michael_Kelso 0
Must have eaten Taco Bell.
ilikeapplejuice 7
LOL or white castle
MadameKay_fml 0
crash your neighbor's toilet!!
Contankerton 2
oh dear... isn't that a pretty picture...
perdix 31
You have a kitchen sink, don't you? A neighbor you don't like? A helmet? When molten shit is flying out of your bunghole, you've got to think outside the box.
THEmuffinpan 0
Or bowl, rather.
emem77 0
oh wow that sux n ew:/
Mister_Grinch 0
The way you put this sentence together is what disgusts me. Not grammar, I mean the "shit fountain" or whayever you said.
stevenmx86 8
That's a creative use of indigestion...