Miscellaneous: Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace....

By Anonymous - 08/12/2011 04:27 - Canada

Today, my dog took a dump beside the air intake for our furnace. The house now smells like dog crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 969

You deserved it 4 065

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/05/2016 14:26 - Italy - Bologna

Today, my dog apparently vomited straight down a heating vent while I was out. The stench was so bad that when I got home and the smell hit me, I threw up too. Looks like I'll be spending a few days with my mother as the house airs out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 913

You deserved it 1 264

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 31/01/2017 10:13 - United States - Gladewater

Today, after weeks of looking for the source of an awful smell in our house, I found out our dog has been climbing over our loft banister, into the attic, and shitting. There were over twenty mounds. It took me almost four hours to clean up, and it still stinks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 546

You deserved it 762

By aaalias34 - 26/02/2010 11:13 - United States

Today, my dog farted. Immediately, he turned around to sniff his stink then furiously licked his butthole. He then licked my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 985

You deserved it 8 455

Spray it loud

By anonymous - 16/08/2015 03:16 - United States - Rock Hill

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 278

You deserved it 2 082

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 549

You deserved it 4 899

By hadtocleanthemess - 28/06/2011 12:35 - Canada

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 878

You deserved it 4 198

Good boy

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 19:30 - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the park. It had recently rained, and he started rolling in something unidentifiable. When I got home, I discovered it was a mixture of mud and who knows what else. Now my house smells like a swamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 253

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/07/2019 14:00

Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 294

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 84

By Mr Pippin - 09/09/2018 22:00

Today, after frolicking in some long grass near a lake, my dog got back in the car smelling strongly of poop. Upon further investigation, I discovered that a sewer had overflowed in the area. My dog rolled around in human faeces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 326

StoryOfTheYear 14

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:48

Hot shit. ._.

ten_go86 5

Thursday 8 December 2011 8:54

take a dump near your dog's house so he'll know what shit smells like

Comments

Yetifoot 0

Thursday 8 December 2011 21:30

Well... *puts on sunglasses* Must of been a crappy day!

ajmk58201 6

Thursday 8 December 2011 23:06

Dude clean it up.

ohsheet 8

Thursday 8 December 2011 23:08

Better stock up on air fresheners!

zander4310 5

Friday 9 December 2011 0:13

FEBREZE!

whosladygaga 7

Friday 9 December 2011 0:47

I laughed....

XavierMedina 0

Friday 9 December 2011 3:34

You deserved it didnt you house break your dog.

thomas9753 0

Friday 9 December 2011 4:04

So go out and clean it up before putting it on fml

wittygirl 8

Friday 9 December 2011 7:30

That's a shitty situation to be in :)

fenixtorador1 11

Friday 9 December 2011 7:42

Yeah.. I'd be in a 'shitty' mood too

peanut1320 0

Friday 9 December 2011 8:20

hahaha

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Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 93

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys… a big black rubber cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 6 962

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Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 281

You deserved it 7 304

Today, I had to console a crying teenage boy, who'd realized he had been set up for a prank date at the restaurant I work at. All I could think about was how I used to set boys up on prank dates when I was his age. I had no idea how damaging it actually was on the receiving end, and now I can't stop hating myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 235

You deserved it 2 769

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 012

You deserved it 8 356

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 34

Today, my alcoholic father volunteered that he was cutting back on his drinking… by switching from gin martinis to vodka martinis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 85

Today, I thought I'd spice things up by kissing my husband on the lips and then working my way down. But about halfway, I got some of his chest hairs lodged in my throat and started gagging. To avoid ruining the mood, I kept going, silently gagging, until we finished. I swallowed the hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 998

You deserved it 5 367

Same thing different taste

Bad boy

Spray it loud

Good boy

Bad boy

Bad boy

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