mugged
United States
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Today, I asked my wife who she would choose, me or the dog. She chose the dog. No hesitation. FML
woofwoof
Izmir, Turkey
Unattack dog
Today, I got mugged while walking my dog. He seemed to be OK with it. FML
macguy
Quezon City, Philippines
Today, I got mugged. For my Big Mac. What the fuck? FML
Anonymous
Sanford, United States
Not so smooth criminal
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
mr_dinzaster
This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff
Cartoonish
Today, a dog came into my yard. I bent down to pet him, forgetting I had a burger in my hand. The dog grabbed it and ran. FML
Bad boy
Naughty boy
Today, I took my dog to the park. While chatting with another dog owner, my dog managed to steal their sandwich and ran off with it. I had to chase my sandwich-thieving dog through the entire park. FML
anyonmus
Westminster, United States
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Cedar Buero
Cape Girardeau, United States
Today, my dog thought it would be a good idea to use my phone as a chew toy. FML
SterlingEnigma
United States
Irony at a base level
Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
ZAnon
Houston, United States
Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML
Top comments
BLAZZZEEEDDD 1
dogs always go for food
AlienX_fml 0
I usually bring an apple when i mug people. Just in case they have a dog.
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Comments (156)
HurryUp_and_BUY 6
OP, I totally understand, my dog eats apples too lol.
youtubetre_fml 14
I understand your dog ...
Dylan420z 4
This is why you need a Pittbull, they would rarher want meat then a healthy apple
penniesguy4323 1
That's HILARIOUS lol
Simbaby 23
He didn't choose the thug life he chose the healthy life .