holstarox

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Holstarox's favorite FMLs

By justanaccount - 27/02/2009 19:35 - Spain

Today, to ask a boy I really liked to my school's turnabout dance, I gave him a box full of 10 cupcakes that spelled out T-U-R-N-A-B-O-U-T-?. The boy gave the box back a little later. There were two cupcakes left inside. It said N-O. FML

agreeclassic 108 613

vote type 1 12 032

By Anonymous - 17/09/2010 06:57 - Australia

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

agreeclassic 37 565

vote type 1 43 390

dblac74 app_comment_confession_title

dblac74 0

Saturday 18 September 2010 0:49

Hey guys, im the OP lol. To clarify: Insanely hot chick next to me haha. Also I had a button up shirt, and initialy it was small enough not to matter, but the effin thing didnt stop growing haha. And for those who suggested it: No. Didnt get laid. Got a nickname at work though, "Jack in the box". ...once more for the record, FML.

Smooth criminal

By nickim756 - 13/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend saying he needed me to bail him out of jail. The crime? Masturbating in public. FML

agreeclassic 43 554

vote type 1 6 242

Inner voice

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

agreeclassic 10 803

vote type 1 44 860

By Anonymous - 09/09/2010 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my cousin came to visit from America. While out shopping, she said loudly that she was having trouble finding clothes to fit around her huge fanny, causing a lot of people to stare in our direction. I had to explain to her that "fanny" in the UK means "vagina." FML

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