Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
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Top comments
darwinism 30
Next time stay in the doorway and keep saying "cold, cold, warmer, warmer, cold again" just to freak him out.
slooby_fml 25
My mom thought I was gay because I watch Glee. Turns out she was right
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Comments (109)
aboelmagd 18
Your name is awesome.
numberswoman 14
You obviously didn't get your intelligence from your dad. Thank goodness!
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
what silly logic. am I aspiring to be a global super villain if I study international relations and I like the bond films? Do I intend to bring on a zombie apocalypse if I am a physiology major and enjoy the walking dead?
mFUNdo21 17
in answer to your questions, yes, yes you are
SnowboarderFX 14
No comments about living with your dad/parents and working on a major? Get your own place
rawlings123 17
college is pretty expensive. get off his ass
Wiz_Of_Oz 17
If he is a full-time student how do you expect him to pay his fees AND rent?
SnowboarderFX 14
If you're living with your parents you kinda have to expect them to do whatever they want, its their house, not yours. And yes, college is expensive, that's why you get a job
olpally 33
The 2nd time? Do you look like a potential drug dealer op? Haha. Your dad is crazy btw. He needs to stop watching tv for a bit.
mFUNdo21 17
well I believe op's dad's reasoning is quite plausible. remember when twilight came out and people were acting stupid and biting each other to show their love? hey! that was tv too but people still did it
BillyGoesBoom 8
who the hell would rate this as 'you deserved it' ?
havok87 11
You're dad is stupid.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Are you sure your dad isn't the one doing drugs? From the looks of it, it sounds as if he is. With the Paranoia and all.
To_Die_For 7
Well obviously we all do what TV tells us no matter what... And it works! This is why I am now a teenage mutant ninja turtle just because... Also I hunt demons in a 1970s muscle car with my sibling, with a fallen angel randomly popping up. Our parents are dead, and we by mistake started the apocalypse... Yeah I probably should not have watched supernatural... Considering how real TV is. But it just had such good looking people in the show. How could I not? Seriously your dad does understand TV is not real right? You may need to speak to him about Santa clause as well. Good luck with that.
bcnelson13 7
If you're a chemistry major, why do you still live with your parents.
NatalieOntheTram 11
Are we Chem Majors not allowed to live with our parents? Your comment confuses me.
TechFire 25
You have to move out the day you turn 18 or else you're a loser and a worthless human being. /s