Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom and step-dad tore my room apart looking for the stash of drugs they thought I had. I've never touched drugs in my life, and I guess they believe me now. Didn't stop them from making me clean up the mess they made, though. FML
Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Today, my psychotic step-dad asked me if I'm doing drugs. I replied with a massive amount of sarcasm: "Yeah, all of 'em. Especially meth." He flipped out, searched my room top to bottom, then grounded me "for good" until I tell him where I hid the supposed drugs. FML
Today, I came home to find my room completely torn apart. My mom and dad start yelling at me asking me why I am doing drugs because she found a tiny baggie on the floor. It was the little bag that spare buttons come in when you buy a dress shirt. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my parents have been letting me hang out with my friends so late is so they can search my room for drugs. FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my house was raided for drugs. I had to find out my father is a drug dealer. The cops then told me this wasn't their first time here, but it was the first time I was home to see it. They said it was nice to finally meet me. FML
Today, I came home from school to find almost every single personal possession and piece of furniture from my bedroom all laid out or disassembled in the back yard. My dad smugly told me I'd better start moving it all back. This is his revenge for me salting his coffee this morning. FML
Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
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Top comments
darwinism 30
Next time stay in the doorway and keep saying "cold, cold, warmer, warmer, cold again" just to freak him out.
slooby_fml 25
My mom thought I was gay because I watch Glee. Turns out she was right
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Comments (109)
Shuisim 5
He probably wanted to join in :D
slithergirl 5
Probably...
profoundkisses 18
But if he knew what drug making equipment looked like.....
WhiteCrimson 23
Then I should be a very smart liar who poses as an lawyer coz I can't get enough of suits.
jnanderson 16
You should send him on a trip to Belize
alroys 1
Did he find it?
tracirs_ 7
Clearly he's not the one who knocks.
debrancherenzym 4
Better call Saul then
ruckus54321 5
That's where it all began
joshuarowe88 5
Is your dad overly paranoid or something?
shadowfighter10 9
I've seen a very similar fml before.. Predictable. Sounds like your dad has a good sense of humor and you didn't catch on. Lighten up, and learn how to take a joke, OP