Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
The recycling company will gladly tell you to just throw that away no questions asked.
MrBond007_fml 6
This is a good thing. Your father has taken it upon himself to save the world... One tampon box at a time...
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Comments (105)
iseyixes 18
He would just remind her to recycle the plastic.
hotshot2626 9
But does he compensate for leap year?
doodlecloud 27
I thought they all came in plastic now? I don't think I'd want to shove cardboard up there...unless or course you're talking about the box, but then, you wouldn't really need to go to such lengths to remember to recycle a box...
ya_momma 4
#17 No, the ones with cardboard applicators haven't been discontinued yet.
annie_nk 23
Generally they're found in gas station bathrooms. Pretty much an emergency ONLY purchase.
SusanBieber 10
They still have them. I've never used one, and never want to, but they're supposedly more painful which is why plastic is more common.
Drigr 9
I find it odd that a woman would say she doesn't want to shove cardboard up there, but is fine with plastic, as if its a huge difference. But what do I know, I'm just a goat.
doodlecloud 27
54 - I've never actually used the cardboard ones but, although I think they are lightly laminated or protected somehow, they would be slightly rougher and possibly even absorbent which isn't good down there. The plastic ones on the other hand are smooth and slide in really easy...hope that's not too much information lol
BeforeItWasCool 12
61- The issue with cardboard applicators is that they break far too easily. They were covered with some kind of laminate but it was too weak, and if it came into contact with liquid the applicator just fell apart. I think they fixed the issue, but once plastic was introduced it was generally just easier. So I think that's why most brands have stopped using cardboard.
sdh715 6
I use cardboard ones and they work just fine.
kmccain 27
The cardboard ones really do hurt and they do fall apart quite often. I always try to stick to plastic.
fireysaje 10
God, you people talk like you stick the applicator up there and leave it there all day. You know you don't have to stick the applicator up your vag to insert the tampon, right?
poppyseed420 9
Well you do have to stick it partway in, or use applicatorless tampons and save a lot of waste
mccutie936 6
They are. Don't use them unless absolutely necessary.
WaywardDaughter 26
@72 all brands of tampons still come with cardboard applicators. You just pay more for the plastic kind.
bfsd42 20
You bloody well recycle that!!!!??
loloalltheway 23
Well that is strange indeed....
perdix 31
That's just an excuse. He just wants to know when your bitchiness has a physical cause, and is not just part of your innate nasty personality.
Shrike 24
So what's your ******* shit excuse, Perdix?
MrBond007_fml 6
No, I know exactly what perdix is talking about. I keep a schedule of who to avoid when. Why play with fire?
JAB2010 1
I admire his quest to protect the environment, but that's pretty damn unnecessary. The world will not spin off it's axis without you recycling that sort of stuff. Not to mention, it just sounds creepy in a way.
HeyArnold91 8
Why in bloody hell would he do that?!
WaywardDaughter 26
Recycle them at a recycling center!
foreveriowa 16
don't get pregnant ... especially if your dads keeping track of your monthly gift
bimonthly 4
If he really cared he'd have you using reuse-able (washable) pads.
fadingaway 17
Exactly, or a cup.