Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at a public restroom, I caught my extremely eco-friendly daughter, who was on her period, looking through the trash. When I asked why, she said, "Because I'm looking for pads to use. It'll mean less garbage." I then had to lecture her in the public restroom about health and hygiene. FML
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML
Today, I got my period, and had to rush to my parents' bathroom for some pads. They'd put all our wrapped presents in their bathroom. As I was looking, my dad thought I was opening presents and barged in, only to see me with my pants around my ankles. Now he won't stop laughing. FML
Today, my mom noticed that there weren’t any tampons in the trashcan during my usual time of the month, and promptly grounded me. I’m not pregnant, I just skip periods sometimes. FML
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
Today, my roommate got mad at me for putting away the tampons that were sitting on her desk. She rebelled by hanging hundreds of tampons dyed red from every surface in our dorm room. I discovered this while giving my mom her first tour of the place. FML
Today, I had to teach my mother that tampons do not belong in the toilet. FML
Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML
Today, my dad got into an argument with the cashier about how overpriced the scented tampons were. FML
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Top comments
theslimshadylp 6
The recycling company will gladly tell you to just throw that away no questions asked.
MrBond007_fml 6
This is a good thing. Your father has taken it upon himself to save the world... One tampon box at a time...
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Comments (105)
DocBastard 40
Here is yet another example of why I thank my father for giving me my Y chromosome. Cardboard? Plastic? Pad? Wings? Washable? Disposable? Super absorbent? Thanks, DadBastard!
simplylost643 0
#66- Amen, bother! Amen.
SApprentice 34
There's worse things he could be worried about. Look on the bright side, he cares.
laurapiggy 3
Obsessive compulsive party of one?
BeforeItWasCool 12
Well, sure. Let's all switch to plastic and actively aid pollution in the knowledge the recycling company won't use it. I think OP's issue was the timetable, rather than the Dad's aim to cut down pollution and help the environment. I think she was probably fine with that part.
sassyfrassy2005 1
Thats what he wants you to think.
mycatsaysmeow 7
Cardboard tampons exist. Personally, I found them as easy to use as plastic ones. Anyway, you could switch to reusable menstrual products. There are washable pads and sea sponge tampons. I use a cup.
tkl1979 2
He's using that as an excuse to make sure you're not knocked up each month. FYL
zombiekitten87 12
Just be glad he doesn't want you to wash out your tampons and reuse them.
hateevryone 15
What the hell?
saksxalmo 20
#71- Trust me, recycling the cardboard from a tampon applicator isn't much better for the environment. I mean, in addition to being disgusting and possibly dangerous (bodily fluids and whatnot), energy has to be used to bring it to the recycling facility, chemicals have to be used to clean and bleach it, and then energy has to be used to make it in to something useful. All for a few tampon applicators. And the same thing would be done with the plastic ones if they did accept them, so I don't think it's a severe threat to the environment to use them. Sorry, but I just don't think it's worth it. Just throw them out, it's safer and much cleaner than most people are aware. Although if OP's dad is THAT obsessed with helping the environment, I don't see why he hasn't already made OP switch to a menstrual cup or reusable pads or something...