By he is going to hell - Australia - Forestville Today, I found out my little brother is a highly committed Nazi. He goes to meetings and everything, my parents think it's great he is "getting out and developing a social life." FML I agree, your life sucks 34284 You deserved it 2132 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Lucachoo Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his muscles as my anniversary gift. FML I agree, your life sucks 14554 You deserved it 1975 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kristajoy2001 Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. All of the sudden, he whispered in my ear, "Do you want to hear a Minecraft joke?" FML I agree, your life sucks 1660 You deserved it 300 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By onlyolivia - United States - Elkridge Today, I finally got the courage to ask my boss why the flowers I got her for her birthday the other day were in the conference room and not her office. She told me she was allergic to them and she had such a bad reaction that it made her go home early. I made my boss sick on her birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 11830 You deserved it 1312 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brrrr that's cold! - United States Today, I finally felt well enough to take an actual shower after having surgery on my back. It took five minutes to stand up, ten minutes to get to the shower, and another ten minutes to get in. The pilot light went out in less than five minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 27615 You deserved it 2390 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By JessThompson - Canada - Hamilton Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML I agree, your life sucks 24876 You deserved it 4327 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I checked the facebook event page that I had set up for my 21st birthday at an awesome restaurant/bar which I had set up a week ago. Out of 39 invitees, the only person who said yes is my boyfriend. FML I agree, your life sucks 46365 You deserved it 5552 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jacie Today, I tried on a pair of pants in a dressing room and they didn’t fit. However, my period came suddenly and left a massive bloodstain, so I had to buy them anyway. In case you’re wondering, the pants were white, the cashier was male and cute, and he definitely noticed. FML I agree, your life sucks 3109 You deserved it 348 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ihatemyex - 23/5/2020 14:00 Who are you? Today, a woman I’d never met came to my door asking if my kids were ready to go. Obviously I refused to send my kids with a stranger. Apparently she’s my ex's new girlfriend and "has his permission" to come get my kids. Now he’s threatening to take me to court for violating the visitation order. FML I agree, your life sucks 1865 You deserved it 134 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Portland Today, I caught my mother-in-law trying to plant a GPS tracker on my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 29593 You deserved it 2086 72 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Herman - France Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML I agree, your life sucks 22817 You deserved it 5784 163 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 13/9/2020 10:01 - United States - Saint Joseph Fiancé of the year Today, I found out that my fiancé of three years, with whom I share a child, fell in love with my best friend and they’ve been going on dates for the last four months after work. FML I agree, your life sucks 1537 You deserved it 120 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ashton Today, my girlfriend told me I have a doppelganger on campus who looks just like me, but way cuter. She got his phone number. FML I agree, your life sucks 2725 You deserved it 169 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 10/9/2020 11:02 - United States - Orlando Compassion Today, I found out the reason my mom took over 9 months to get me a therapist and much needed help after I told her how I had been depressed and suicidal for over two months. It wasn't because it was hard to find one, but actually because she thought I was making it up to cushion the fact that I got a C in a class. FML I agree, your life sucks 1425 You deserved it 109 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By shit Today, I was in a public restroom trying to take a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself, "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard, "No you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML I agree, your life sucks 1607 You deserved it 633 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By justabitembarrassed - United States - Chagrin Falls Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML I agree, your life sucks 24747 You deserved it 4786 187 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Turkey Today, my cat learned how to flush the toilet while I was in the shower. His transformation from cute kitten to pure evil entity is now complete. FML I agree, your life sucks 36753 You deserved it 5927 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 65091 You deserved it 3303 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ouch - United States - Charlotte Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 24232 You deserved it 2112 41 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - United States - Roanoke Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML I agree, your life sucks 35044 You deserved it 2525 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 1 Giant Cupcake - United States Today, I drove to Bank of America to deposit money. Upon returning to my car I saw some new scratches on the front. I kicked and rubbed it to try and get rid of it. Then I notice someone in the car staring at me in bewilderment. I'd parked 2 spaces away. We have the same car. FML I agree, your life sucks 16727 You deserved it 40516 53 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By suckstosuck - United States - Dana Point Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML I agree, your life sucks 62807 You deserved it 13505 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland - Dublin Today, while on a first date, I had to excuse myself to the restroom. I was still tired from pulling an all-nighter, and fell asleep on the toilet. When I woke up and rushed back out, my date was gone. Everyone now thinks I'm an arsehole who pulled the old "window escape" trick on her. FML I agree, your life sucks 46731 You deserved it 13808 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By monogamous - Australia Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML I agree, your life sucks 61274 You deserved it 4767 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By like - United States Today, I decided it would be pretty amusing to press the "Like" button on everyone's status on Facebook without reading them just to get on peoples' nerves. After re-reading them later, I found out one of them said "I MISS YOU SOO MUCH GRANDMOM. RIP". I liked that her grandmother died. FML I agree, your life sucks 25609 You deserved it 199829 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tax-man - United States - Chapin Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML I agree, your life sucks 38193 You deserved it 9062 91 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sucks2suck - United States Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML I agree, your life sucks 51118 You deserved it 2667 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By moncheri1314 - France Today, because I have a beach party tomorrow, I used a new gel that is supposed to prevent razor burn after shaving the bikini line. Turns out I'm highly allergic to the gel. Now I have hundreds of beautiful red bumps that look like razor burn. FML I agree, your life sucks 26428 You deserved it 4429 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fthislyfe - Netherlands Today, in an amphitheater, someone hit the back of my head. As I turned around, the guy apologized and said he mistook me for his friend. I changed seats, and after a while, I got hit a second time. He was wrong again. FML I agree, your life sucks 34379 You deserved it 3816 113 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Useless Key Today, my sister couldn't find the spare key I gave her for my apartment, so I had to pay a $50 fee to the leasing office. Not 30 minutes after paying, she found the key. In her purse. On her keychain. FML I agree, your life sucks 2946 You deserved it 303 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Parents love Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML I agree, your life sucks 2479 You deserved it 995 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By crazybiotch - Canada Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML I agree, your life sucks 11694 You deserved it 60997 73 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cakegirl - United States Today, my boyfriend invited me over so I went, not thinking anything of it. To my surprise, he broke up with me. I was pretty upset, and as I was leaving his mom hands me a box. When I got home I opened it. His mom baked me a break up cake. FML I agree, your life sucks 58107 You deserved it 3785 217 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fartypants - United States - Winter Park Today, as I finished my piano recital and took a bow, I farted into the microphone. FML I agree, your life sucks 32980 You deserved it 4384 86 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fingwhore - United States - Greensboro Today, my girlfriend came back from camping with her friends. I say "friends", I mean "friend". And when I say "friend", I mean "her ex". I took a look through her bag afterwards, and well, who knew condoms were considered camping equipment these days. FML I agree, your life sucks 58422 You deserved it 6920 184 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Single and wigless Today, I was on a FaceTime call with a guy I like and my cat, out of nowhere, attacks my head and snatches my wig off. FML I agree, your life sucks 2035 You deserved it 826 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lumacsp - United States Today, I stopped at the light when someone crashed on to my motorcycle making me fall. The guy claimed it was my fault because I stopped too fast. I got really mad, so I attempted to spit on his face and was ready to start a fight when I noticed that I forgot to lift the helmet shield. FML I agree, your life sucks 11254 You deserved it 52241 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whyme_ss - United States Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML I agree, your life sucks 40513 You deserved it 26873 296 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By PeeFlavouredFloss - Canada - Montreal Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 38279 You deserved it 3129 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sen - United States Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML I agree, your life sucks 44289 You deserved it 2620 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mia - United States - Laurel Today, I was mistaken for my twin brother twice. This probably wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a girl. FML I agree, your life sucks 49865 You deserved it 4650 82 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bobadrunk | 6 #4948125 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:09 your parents just can Nazi it Send a private message 489 15 Reply
By mikeiphone | 0 #4948155 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:12 We don't need this scum in our country Send a private message 230 24 Reply
By zoPwNAgEzo | 21 #4948115 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:07 He's got your parents fooled. Next, he's gonna try and convert you Send a private message 34 95 Reply
By ahabsfan | 14 #4948124 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:09 Silver lining: At least he doesn't have a fear of commitment like most men.
Reply MotherHen88 | 4 #4948179 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:15 The post that I was going to comment about was deleted. Sorry for just leaving a period. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply dankmemes710 | 13 #6474945 - Tuesday 1 December 2015 13:49 but... hes a nazi Send a private message 3 0 Reply
By bobadrunk | 6 #4948125 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:09 your parents just can Nazi it Send a private message 489 15 Reply
Reply Malkria | 1 #4948177 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:15 I see what you did there... XD Send a private message 17 98 Reply
Reply hotshot2626 | 9 #4948207 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:27 Sir I believe you are Reich. Send a private message 138 8 Reply
Reply nikininja | 4 #4948269 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:44 I am not sure how kampfortable people will be with this line of discussion. Send a private message 153 6 Reply
Reply kriz_allizwell | 6 #4948283 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:48 Adding fuhrer to the fire. Send a private message 151 7 Reply
Reply flockz | 19 #4948292 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:51 put it out with a shower. Send a private message 116 11 Reply
Reply nikininja | 4 #4948298 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:52 Well Jew got to expect some backlash... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply hotshot2626 | 9 #4948306 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:53 24, I believe I have the final solution for that. I mean Jew have a valid point, but I think we can continue going fuhrer. Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply flockz | 19 #4948314 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:54 i think we're all going to heil for this. Send a private message 170 8 Reply
Reply hotshot2626 | 9 #4948322 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:58 Idk according to the passion of the christ the Jews killed Jesus. soooooooo...... yea. The big guy might let this one go. Send a private message 0 1 Reply
Reply nikininja | 4 #4948348 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 10:17 I think it is about time we all start acting like grown up Adolfs and stop this nonsense. Send a private message 152 8 Reply
Reply bootyful86 | 7 #4948353 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 10:18 You guys rock Send a private message 71 20 Reply
Reply hotshot2626 | 9 #4948358 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 10:18 Sorry mods I shouldn't have gone that fuhrer. :/ Send a private message 98 9 Reply
Reply drunkandfml | 11 #4948435 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 11:23 This is absolutely hitlerious Send a private message 151 5 Reply
Reply Grimmerie | 31 #4948502 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 12:04 These jokes take too much concentration. Send a private message 187 9 Reply
Reply robotiick7 | 23 #5878336 - Friday 7 March 2014 15:16 The nein of you are definitely go to heil for these jokes Send a private message 8 0 Reply
Reply MrBoredomioo | 18 #6286920 - Sunday 10 May 2015 8:17 These puns are Hitlarious Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By The_Big_Boss | 20 #4948151 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:12 Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment Sounds like you're jealous
Reply dominic1221 | 6 #4948242 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:40 Sounds like your brain cells are having a hard time working together. Send a private message 103 3 Reply
Reply ruabadfishtoo | 0 #4948287 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:48 yeah, OP is jealous of a guy who is an ignorant twat-faced piece of trash who is clearly lacking some sense. Send a private message 72 7 Reply
By mikeiphone | 0 #4948155 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:12 We don't need this scum in our country Send a private message 230 24 Reply
By iseyixes | 18 #4948160 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:12 Your brother is a follower of ignorance. Send a private message 144 10 Reply
By daisy2101 | 7 #4948161 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:13 Yayy australia!! Except for that whole nazi group thing.. That's not too yay. Send a private message 34 6 Reply
By iCake | 13 #4948172 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:14 A new hitler maybe? Send a private message 5 89 Reply
Reply heyyhowsitgoing | 9 #4948214 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:30 The world does NOT need another Hitler. Send a private message 45 3 Reply
Reply iCake | 13 #4948326 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:59 Correct, not even if they are grammar Nazi's Send a private message 3 32 Reply
Reply wolfgold2 | 20 #5607561 - Thursday 1 August 2013 5:24 Grammar Hitler? Send a private message 7 1 Reply
By flockz | 19 #4948198 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:21 unlike the completely different Grammar Nazis, who sit in a dark basement and troll the internet. Send a private message 33 69 Reply
Reply boofgall | 16 #4948388 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 10:50 Grammar nazis don't troll, they just correct illiterate people. Send a private message 55 7 Reply
Reply CoffeeChickBlows | 13 #4948401 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 10:58 Flockz really just posted that? Oh how the mighty fall. (I'm holding out hope he uses the "it was my sister on my iPod" excuse.) Send a private message 34 5 Reply
By TheMathMajor | 26 #4948209 - Wednesday 19 September 2012 9:27 If it was in the American south, than he would more likely be a KKK member rather than a Nazi. Send a private message 88 7 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 639 You deserved it 187 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1133 You deserved it 176 11 Comments