Today, my dad came over and ordered me, a 43 year-old woman, to purchase a kitchen table. He and my sisters are embarassed that we are still using a plastic folding table. It doesn't matter to them that we have just spent over $30,000 on renovations. His cousins are coming from Italy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I bought lunch for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. My uncle apparently felt uncomfortable at the restaurant, because he got up and flipped the table over before leaving. The bill tripled because of the broken glass, and my uncle called me up later for a ride. FML
Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents said no, because it would cost too much money. I came home to see my parents had bought a huge TV for $800. We already have 3 televisions. FML
Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML
Today, when I finally got delivered the new kitchen table that I ordered online a week ago, I found out that it was actually a kitchen table for a dollhouse, as I forgot to check the size. FML
Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML
Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofa to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it, and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML
Today, after I bought my house, my dad forced me to do all the DIY with him because I needed to know how to do it myself, but my sister just bought her house and not only did dad hire tradesmen to do a lot of the work, he forced me to do a lot of it as well. Never before have I wished I was a girl too. FML
Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML
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Top comments
FloorX 14
there are so many things going on here
i_wuz_nver_here 31
If you're gonna spend/care that much about your house, why would you still have a plastic table?
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Comments (105)
revolvearoundme 15
Oooo mail me the plastic one! I've been in my house for 4 years and don't have a dining table. I just don't really need one... but if I had one I'd buy some inflatable sex dolls dress them up, sit them at the table, and on Saturday mornings open the blinds, eat breakfast, and spend the morning yelling at them for all my neighbors to see.
Britt125 16
What? I feel like this needs a lot of clarification. Are you living at home or he's living in yours or something? Otherwise, why does it matter that has cousins are coming? They can go to his house and not see the embarrassing table. Or if you're living in the same house he can pitch in for a table since it's his house too. But if you're 43, just stand up for yourself. You can spend your money how you wish. And he, also being a grown ass adult, can deal with making sure things are ready and to his standards for his family's visit.
Pokemonguy 7
That's bullshit why would a 43 year old woman even know about this app stop lying
wow2mylife 25
actually there is a lot of older people on this app more than others like this you will be suprise I'm was when I first got on
KryssLB 14
I'm 45. What generation do you think even invented the Internet; yours? Grow up.
SPN_lover666 27
#30, 43 years old isn't even that old. I don't know why you think OP is lying because she is using FML. My cousin is 40 and enjoys this app. You going to claim she is lying too?
fotomiep 7
You do know that people of all ages use the Internet, not just middle school kids?
saffy66 34
I'm 49 and I know there are a lot of people here even older than me. For the record, my son downloaded this app to my phone 4 years ago, knowing it's something I'd enjoy. But I'd probably have found it myself anyway. And FYI, computers weren't always the point and click type they are now. My generation was using DOS based programs and writing code in Basic and other computer languages, long before you were even born.
ConfusedCat 11
Seriously? I am so ashamed to be this generation sometimes.
Brandi_Faith 34
You guys, he's joking. It's funny. Lol
SaritaKinKin 17
If he wants a different table, make him get it himself.
soulreaper12296 28
Tell him that if he wants you to have one so bad he can be the one to pay for it.
redscarf_fml 8
He can buy you one then
bahreaze 2
My family is Italian and this kind of enmeshment is the thing I hate most about its culture. Your home is nobody's business but your own.
Lunarlilly 12
Just go to goodwill and get a cheapie table. Personally it shouldn't matter but you can get a decent table for like $20
SPN_lover666 27
The dad will probably bitch about that too
mezochan 29
Probably wouldn't be good enough for the Italian cousins, according to her dad anyway. I doubt the cousins care.
jimeple 12
I would hope is a 43 year old woman you respectfully told him to go **** himself
NYGiants1925 22
Are the renovations finished? If they are you spent way too much money to bitch about a table. If not, then who cares.