Today, my dad came over and ordered me, a 43 year-old woman, to purchase a kitchen table. He and my sisters are embarassed that we are still using a plastic folding table. It doesn't matter to them that we have just spent over $30,000 on renovations. His cousins are coming from Italy. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I bought lunch for my grandparents, aunts, and uncles. My uncle apparently felt uncomfortable at the restaurant, because he got up and flipped the table over before leaving. The bill tripled because of the broken glass, and my uncle called me up later for a ride. FML
Today, I told my parents that all I wanted for my 18th birthday was to go to a restaurant in NYC for a nice dinner. My parents said no, because it would cost too much money. I came home to see my parents had bought a huge TV for $800. We already have 3 televisions. FML
Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML
Today, when I finally got delivered the new kitchen table that I ordered online a week ago, I found out that it was actually a kitchen table for a dollhouse, as I forgot to check the size. FML
Today, my elderly dad once again asked me to make a reservation at a restaurant for him and a younger woman he's been seeing. Meanwhile, I haven't had anything even approaching a real date in over a decade. FML
Today, I went to visit my father. His new wife has hoarded out our childhood home nearly to the point of it being unliveable. That’s pretty funny, considering my dad used to literally beat us if our rooms weren’t clean or we left dishes in the sink. FML
Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML
Today, my dad decided to get his friend to help move our old sofa to save money. Its leg got stuck in the doorway, scratched the entire hallway wall, punched a big hole in it, and the other leg made a big dent in our front door. We live in an apartment complex and now have to to pay for everything to be fixed. FML
Today, after I bought my house, my dad forced me to do all the DIY with him because I needed to know how to do it myself, but my sister just bought her house and not only did dad hire tradesmen to do a lot of the work, he forced me to do a lot of it as well. Never before have I wished I was a girl too. FML
Today, we finished redecorating my kitchen. My dad has been his usual OCD self about getting it perfect, so when he noticed a shelf was just barely not level, he decided to adjust the screws. It fell off and damaged my floor, so he threw the screwdriver and cracked a wall tile. Thanks dad. FML
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Top comments
FloorX 14
there are so many things going on here
i_wuz_nver_here 31
If you're gonna spend/care that much about your house, why would you still have a plastic table?
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Comments (105)
JustSomeBroad 24
I'm hoping you explained things to him instead of allowing yourself to be bullied into buying a table you obviously weren't ready for yet. That is, of course, assuming you'd eventually buy a proper table.
JackFaire 27
I hope he took it well when you told him to butt out.