Animals: Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas...

By DarkDisaster - 27/12/2012 10:16 - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 273

You deserved it 8 224

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play the Christmas album by Low

By Anonymous - 20/12/2022 03:00

Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 874

You deserved it 183

Merry Xmas

By Christmas sucks - 24/12/2012 01:03 - United States - Boston

Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 873

You deserved it 4 763

Christmas Chaos

By shaggyberaddy - 05/01/2018 05:00

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to get my cat out of our seven-foot Christmas tree. Once he was done, he tore about the house and broke the nativity scene, beheading baby Jesus and a wise man in the process. The tree is fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 531

You deserved it 877

Evil but cute

By WearingOff - 14/07/2009 03:03 - United States

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 426

You deserved it 8 820

Cartoonish

By Anonymous - 16/12/2021 02:01

Today, my kid jumped from the couch into our Christmas tree. As she literally slid down the entire tree, it was like it was happening in slow motion. I was laughing so hard, I peed myself, so I had to clean up decorations and my own piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 485

By MoncaBang - 29/01/2009 21:25 - United States

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 3 440

By Anonymous - 14/05/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 054

You deserved it 104 312

Stealth attack

By Anonymous - 11/12/2020 16:58 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, I was cooking when I got jumped from behind by my friend's cat, who thought my back would make a great lookout perch. Yesterday he tried to sharpen his claws on me. Last time I looked in the mirror I didn't look like a tree trunk, but maybe I need glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 164

By Anonymous - 31/07/2014 17:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my cat tried to jump up to the window, and missed. This would have been hilarious if I had not been sleeping under that same window, and then caught him with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 654

You deserved it 4 794

By catlover - 13/12/2012 11:04 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 219

You deserved it 32 305

flysniper77 6

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:03

Not everyday you get attacked by pussy

MelTheGreat 23

Thursday 27 December 2012 19:38

Unless you're Tiger Woods.

Comments

1dvs_bstd 41

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:09

Joke's on you.

hamrtym 15

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:10

Next time buy the meow mix he wanted for Christmas.

skyeyez9 24

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:14

If your average domestic house cat was 120 pounds vs 15, they would eat you.

pipinya 8

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:32

Keep an eye on this one, OP ;) it has potential

MissAmz 7

Thursday 27 December 2012 22:47

My cat did that to me, last year. After I got over the initial shock, it was adorable! :)

Obey_StudBoii 23

Thursday 27 December 2012 23:10

Lol damn Cat.

Caruci 7

Friday 28 December 2012 0:08

That's one Evil cat

SwtCherryPie 26

Friday 28 December 2012 0:23

That is too funny.

FlyingPie 17

Friday 28 December 2012 0:30

If that were my cat and I was the first victim, I'd still think that was funny.

viagradoesntwork 7

Friday 28 December 2012 0:44

Hahahaha good one

Keywords

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Today, my mother told me she's disappointed in me for not going to a better college, and that if I was in the top ten of my class that the rest of those ten must be really dumb. Fact is, I threw away the acceptance letters to Carnegie Mellon and Cornell because I didn't want her to have to pay. FML

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The Top

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Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

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Today, I had a horrible stomach flu and was well into my second hour of dry heaving when I heard my husband knock on the bathroom door. I was touched that he was worried about me, until I heard, "Honey, what did you make for dinner?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 719

You deserved it 4 099

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You deserved it 12 873

Today, I was watching porn with no headphones, because my roommate had left for work. He didn’t fill me in that his girlfriend was, one, even over at our place, and two was using the room next to me to teach her third grade class. Yeah. I’m going to get headphones. FML

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You deserved it 1 150