Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I was given my Covid-19 test results after a friend and I went to take one. I had been sneezing and having fevers lately, and out of solidarity, my friend also took the test to give me the courage to do so. I tested negative, but my friend didn't. FML
Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML
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Top comments
RavagedSoul 0
Think positive = You got it Think negative = Don't get your hopes up Ye either way nothing should have been said. Silence is golden.
DocBastard 40
I have a feeling that you're the same person who says "You too!" to the check-in person at the airport when she tells you to "Have a nice flight".
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Comments (115)
Fulldemonstorm 10
next time try good luck
alexzannder 0
I think good luck would be worse.. There is really no good wording for this situation, other then posibly- tell me how it goes
triciaxanne 3
how do you thumbs up or down on a Droid?
dansco 25
Great pep talk lol ;)
Poetaster 10
I got nothing...this one is insensitive squared.
jayemdoubleyou 1
He deserves it for not wrapping up.
mariaealvarez 1
Hahhahahah!
bubo_fml 11
To wit, your "buddy" says, "check yo'self!"
save_da_whales 0
What ever happens to "good luck" or hope everything turns out all right or hope you don't have HIV
D3athT3ch 4
u hav no shame -_-
Permaphrost 3
I'm pretty sure this was on south park. "I'm not just sure, I'm HIV positive!"