Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my friend told me, "Just think positive!" to lift my mood. I unconvincingly replied, "Sure thing." An hour later, something positive did happen. When I took a Covid test. Maybe positivity just isn’t my thing. FML
Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML
Today, I was hanging with my mates when we found an old pregnancy test. Since I’m a guy, we thought it’d be hilarious if I took it. It came out positive, so we were roaring with laughter. That is, until someone looked up why. Turns out, I might have cancer. FML
Today, I was given my Covid-19 test results after a friend and I went to take one. I had been sneezing and having fevers lately, and out of solidarity, my friend also took the test to give me the courage to do so. I tested negative, but my friend didn't. FML
Today, I finally came out to my parents and admitted that I’m HIV positive. Instead of being supportive, they made me call up all of my childhood friends and tell them to get tested. Playing at the park isn’t how it transmits, Mum and Dad… FML
Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML
Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML
Today, after recently discovering that I need a bone marrow transplant, my girlfriend got tested to see if she could be a donor. When the results came back with a negative match, she blurted out, "Oh thank god." FML
Today, while on the bus, I started a conversation with the person next to me. After a little back and forth, she finally said, "Do you think people will stop talking to me if I say I have AIDS?" FML
Today, I jokingly said to my coworker, "God, what I wouldn't do for a week off work." I was then tested positive for COVID fifteen minutes later. FML
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Top comments
RavagedSoul 0
Think positive = You got it Think negative = Don't get your hopes up Ye either way nothing should have been said. Silence is golden.
DocBastard 40
I have a feeling that you're the same person who says "You too!" to the check-in person at the airport when she tells you to "Have a nice flight".
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Comments (115)
NoNoImWorkingSee 3
That's pretty funny! Reminds me of the time I asked my folk's neighbor (who has one fake eye) how they enjoyed Avatar in 3D.
LennyComa 39
Man that must suck. Hopefully he'll see the funny side eventully...
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Oh the irony XD
buttercupp2137 0
aha, great pun:D let's hope he took it as a joke:p
alexzannder 0
Be positive- think positive, an the positive side of the HIV test was it being negative so it was a completely ok thing to say... It's also a bit of a pun/joke lmao :) You COMPLETELY! Deserve it cause it wasn't a bad thing to say The rest of u ppl r stupid to think it was
kitsune3 20
Oh, wow. XD Foot-in-mouth Sydrome strikes with fearsome vengeance. No worries, though, OP. I'm sure he'll forgive you and see the good intent and humor in it. And here's hoping he thinks positive but comes up negative.
Honestly_Lainey 21
He's in the situation where he has to be tested for HIV anyway, whatever you said shouldn't have made your slutty roommate mad. It's his fault he's even being tested.
deviable 9
There are other ways to get aids than just sex.
saidin 1
HIV != AIDS
TheGothGamerGirl 20
Common mistake.
munchy22 5
Lmao
N3766 20
nicely worded, think positive.
KiddNYC1O 22
Now that's a pink eye.