Today, my boyfriend suggested that we become "drug dealers" because I'm a chemistry student and he's seen a few episodes of Breaking Bad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML
Today, my dad tore my room apart for the second time, looking for drug-making equipment. His reasoning is that I must be dealing drugs, because I'm a chemistry major who likes to watch Breaking Bad. FML
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
Today, my boyfriend decided that he didn't need a real job. He wants to sell pot for a living. Or hang drywall. He can't decide. FML
Today, I found out that the only reason my boyfriend got a job was so that he could buy weed. FML
Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend why he shouldn't take drugs from strangers. I'm 35 and he's 34. FML
Today, my unemployed scumbag boyfriend sold a painting I had just bought so he could buy phoney drugs that he told me he had quit. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me love is like a drug. I started tearing up because this is the most romantic he has been in a while. He then went on to break up with me, telling me that my "prescription is up". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about what we want to be when we grow up. He said he wanted to be a bartender, and single. FML
Today, my boyfriend was helping me with my medications. While I called the pharmacy, I looked over and saw him making the pill bottles fight each other, with sound effects and funny voices. He's 33. FML
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Top comments
AustinDenton 22
Haha! That's funny. "Excuse me teacher I can't do my work today because I will be making meth today"
hawkislayer 2
Sounds like a pretty legit plan, you will be rich.
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Comments (102)
jw90 18
I've watched CSI and Law and Order. I think I have enough to go off of to be a detective.
DotDootyDot 17
Unfortunately it only works if you're dying of cancer.
graphicstyle7 17
Hey, if he watches all of Breaking Bad, he may take note of the fact that the main characters lives are slowly becoming a nightmare of epic proportion! Tell him to watch ALL the episodes, then get back to you on his brilliant scheme.
Inkedldd 8
Tell him that the Real drug dealers are pharmacology students.
Jaaemoney 13
This is truly hilarious!
arre2006 19
Congrats. You're dating an idiot
StephenStills 6
And you think that's a bad idea?? You should be thanking him! You're set for life now!
Fernando83 19
In the event that you get caught, I've seen a couple of episodes if Law & Order. I know grew the criminal system works and can be your lawyer.
hollywoodt1ts 15
Kiss the cook! Too bad the name Heisenberg is already taken. FYL, OP. Your boyfriend seems to have a wild imagination though. Try to guide him into using it for more productive subjects
LowExpectations 30
And I want to live in a pineapple under the sea, but I know it can't be done! Tell your boyfriend that you prefer not to get shot at.