Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend for the first time. They spent the entire meal trying to convince him to dump me, all while I was sitting right next to him. FML
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Top comments
sjb_2015 20
All these FMLs give me good ideas for what to do when my future kids start dating.
Kyuzomi 12
Calm down satan.
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Comments (128)
little_one1 14
When my boyfriend of two and a half years and I first got together, my dad told me to tell him, "Whatever you do to her, I will do to you." and he was dead serious. If my dad knew the things he had to do.....
SystemofaBlink41 27
Oh lord, phrasing!
isamisis 9
It's time to trade up to a 'Man' !
megcarpy 19
Bit mean!
Muttley9 13
Welcome to Dad saying don't **** my daughter, I'm a meaner son of a bitch than you will EVER be
Fermion 20
Message to parents on this app: this is an example on how NOT to be a good parent.
Dobhrionn 10
A bit of fear is good, but your father may have pushed it a bit too far.
Fermion 20
I'm a bit curious why you think that. Maybe explain some to me?
TheDrifter 24
Teenage hormonal imbalances lead to douchebaggery. A small controlled dose of fear remind them of and leads to proper behavior. I had many dads give me "the talk" over the years, and it always reminded me to care for their daughters as much as their Daddy did. But I'm old, and modern boys are far more effeminate than a generation ago. Everything scares them and makes them cry it seems.
eRapper69 10
Don't bring home such a pansy boyfriend then.
limabeans101029 21
How does crying make him a "pansy"?! Everyone cries. Women cry, men cry, it's not a secret. It's normal. I'd rather be with someone who can show me how they're feeling, as opposed to someone who hides it from me in order to appear "manly".
ACynclaire 13
How old are y'all? I know the younger, the worse..
LinkandSaria 10
Amen
Chris93Jones 20
That's what dads do to daughters.
squideth 18
Nope, only terrible sexist dads do. See, my dad respects me as a person and trusts me to make my own decisions in life! What a concept, I know. And because of it, I love my dad and have confidence in life.
ss521 12
What did he even say? :O