Today, my boyfriend met my parents. Within minutes, my dad managed to verbally sever his balls and reduce him to tears, "just for fun" apparently. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I introduced my dad to my boyfriend. I gave my dad the middle finger and he thumped me on the head, as we've been playfully doing for years. My boyfriend got all mad and tried to fight my dad. FML
Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML
Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend, and to say it went badly is an understatement. My mom went outside to relax by chain smoking and the shouting, and the screaming only ended when my dad took my boyfriend by the scruff of the neck and threw him out the front door into the street. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. As I shook her father's hand, he squeezed with an ungodly amount of force, leaned in with a smile, and murmured that my balls will be the next thing he'll crush if his daughter ever complains about me. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
Today, my parents met my boyfriend for the first time. They spent the entire meal trying to convince him to dump me, all while I was sitting right next to him. FML
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Top comments
sjb_2015 20
All these FMLs give me good ideas for what to do when my future kids start dating.
Kyuzomi 12
Calm down satan.
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Comments (128)
FMLcommenterer 13
Chop his dick off. You know, just for fun.
onlychildFTW 34
What. The. ****.
FMLcommenterer 13
Oh, sorry, I meant this as a joke. Sorry if anyone took me seriously.
October3461 12
at least you no longer have to worry about getting pregnant.
shaytards_fml 9
your father is a fully grown bully
greeneyebeauty9 28
"Welcome to the family!" :D
sourgirl101 29
"You can't win this fight!"
ramos_a7x 5
perhaps acid rain can cleanse your father's hatred of your bf lol but then again not even stars ladt forever
citlali06 14
I can definitely relate!
LinkandSaria 10
I literally just made an account to tell you this... Nobody cares. This is her life not yours. We do not care if you can "relate" or not.
kaet 21
you made an account to tell her that no one cares. that seems... excessive. and rude. and like you care.
LinkandSaria 10
Touche...
SuperMew 22
I am sick of parents who think this behavior is fun. Ruining your children's relationships is not a right, and it sure is not funny.
LinkandSaria 10
Grow a pair. It's what parents do. Please stop whining about your parents. Better yet, make an FML of it.
murdersquirrel 15
parents should encourage the happiness and independence of their children. if OP is old enough to be dating, she shouldn't be sabotaged by her own father.
xReDMemory 28
If you think so,you shouldn't be a parent. Don't give birth to a child if you're not going to trust them.
SuperMew 22
Parents inspire their children, they ask the best of them. Parents are not perfect, they have their own issues and they will not always say or do what the kid wants them to. Parents are meant to protect the interests of their child while also allowing for independence. My parents always questioned my boyfriends. They were involved. If the man did not live up to their expectations, they explained why and let me make my own choice. I have only had them tear into one boyfriend and that was because he showed no respect for them and their home, after they were perfectly nice. He was not a good guy and since I was 15 they told me I was no longer allowed to date him. However, my father has never destroyed someone for fun. He has never made it so someone started to cry, male or not. He respects me and lets me sink or swim. If I need his help, I know to ask, because he will protect and care for me, like a father should. He has done stupid things, hurt my feelings at times, but no parent should take joy out of humiliating an important person that their daughter/son brings home.
TheDrifter 24
I've seen many gross overstatements here on fml. Perhaps what she describes as verbally severing her boyfriends testicles amounted to a snide comment about the fact he was wearing girls skinny jeans and pink sneakers as so many boys do these days and it brought the boy to tears? I'm sure op would be just as outraged and her father entirely baffled by the tears and it would still have been just a joke. I try to give parents the benefit of a doubt when dealing with hormonal teenagers.
olpally 33
"Meet the parents" anyone? Good lord that's extremely harsh! Your dad is a douche canoe.
Das_is_gud 11
Verbally severed balls
amb95x 17
Balls of fun then.
worldclassrager 41
Well it seems like a dad thing to do protect his daughter...hope all else goes well?
Selkhe 10
If she is old enough to date, she is old enough to make her own decisions. The father wouldn't do it if she was a boy, therefore he will not be excused for being an asshat.
R3TROxLOV3 32
41, when parents do stuff like this enough, their daughters end up finding guys that won't be afraid of their parents because they have no respect for others. All of a sudden, instead of having a nice respectful guy dating your daughter, she ends up with a bad boy with no respect for authority. Which would you rather have? The sensitive guy, or the douchebag? He wasn't protecting her. He was just being a dickhole. If my dad did something that scared away a guy that I liked, I'd probably go out and find a dickwad to date just to make a point to my father. He needs to learn to respect her relationships, otherwise he'll just push her away.