Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I noticed that I've been gaining some weight. Don't worry, my boyfriend doesn't mind. His new favorite thing is putting my boobs on his head and saying he feels "safe". FML
Today, ever since I let my boyfriend touch my boobs, he thinks it's appropriate to grope me whenever he feels like it. Even talking to him about it doesn't seem to stop him. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. My boyfriend noticed that every time I'm about to climax, I hit my head on something. Whether it's a wall or his face. FML
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted to subtly encouraging me to do stupid things because he finds my "bimbo moments" hilarious. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend trying on my bra. He still has no excuse. FML
Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML
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Top comments
nublets 12
Boobs can make men stupid, i think its in our DNA or something. And maybe see if you can bounce things off his junk and see how excited he is about it? :p
zojieeu 6
Just treat it as a compliment that you have bouncy boobs
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Comments (143)
perdix 31
Just make sure he doesn't start experimenting with big things like biclcyles and refrigerators.
Michael_92 20
Anything larger than a common 4 slice toaster and you should be worried.
Furrywhiplash 14
Yes, watch out for larger things, but also watch out for sharper. I doubt her boobs would be able to repel the sharp end of a knife...
NegaMe 12
The degree of the danger of that particular projectile class depends on whether she has implants or not...
Llama_Face89 34
What about a small alligator. Theyre not very big when they're babies.
Leadamp 7
What about something small but heavy like a paperweight
Joey_Bellows 1
This is the proper course of action if the woman you are dating has nice boobs.
lifesucks283 1
YDI for having nice boobs
ycrem0n 21
Seriously, what's next? "YDI because the sky is blue", "YDI because I have herpes", "YDI because YDI" genius
biglittlehead 12
Quit being a downer and get back to running the itty bitty titty comity.
perdix 31
Maybe you ought to bounce him out of your life. Unless you like dating boys.
HopefulBeatz 4
The problem is us men are given both a brain and a penis but only enough blood to run one at a time.
evig_fml 16
I would love it if you could scientifically prove that lol
license2chill 5
Nope, you can run both at the same time, but you can't control the penis, and sometimes the penis' decisions override brain's
hellbilly205 17
Ah yes 21 great quote by Robin Williams.
Ray_of_midnight 23
Have you *ever* known a guy who had good decision making skills when he had a hard-on?
Blueglasscup 18
SHIT SERIOUSLY? I am so trying that when I can.
Sumalum 7
You should bounce something off his man ****. See how he likes it.
lizardninja 0
Hell try and bounce his **** off it soon tuen
hellbilly205 17
I do believe its called **** my life.
coried91 28
I think he knows. He was making up his own in order to express he thought it was funny. That went way over your head and beyond.