Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my lover and boyfriend of over 5 years has me listed in his contacts as "Vagina". FML
Today, I saw in my browser history a profile from one of those "Facebook of sex" websites. Turns out that my boyfriend has been posting naked pictures of himself on there using my laptop and flirting with teenage girls. His excuse? "I have friends on there." FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has checked every girl he has ever slept with for 'vagina teeth'. I'm apparently no exception. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an online blog that he updates every time we have sex. It’s ridiculously detailed, right down to the slight difference in the pink of my vagina and the slightly darker pink of my asshole. He's a dead man when he gets home from work. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to go on my boyfriend's Facebook to change his status. While in the process, his account received a message. Turns out he's planning on hooking up with his ex-girlfriend/one of my friends and is definitely over me. How's that for snooping around? FML
Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML
Today, my boyfriend poked me on Facebook. I got excited because this is as close as he's come to touching me in weeks. FML
Today, I introduced this website to my boyfriend. We laughed at a guy who screamed his sister's name during sex. Guess what he thought would be funny to do when I was seconds from coming? FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend uses a period tracker app to find out when we can fuck. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an account on a sex hookup site. He said it has "interesting articles" and that he'd completed his profile and listed his sexual preferences out of boredom. When I told him to sign in and prove he hadn't been messaging girls, he refused and called me paranoid. FML
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Top comments
rbubbles 20
Quite a funny boyfriend you have there
CrAzYyEt 8
Haha has he poked it yet?
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Comments (379)
feanor15 0
lad
ohlordy101 0
That's seriously hilarious and clever hahah
picturescrazy 24
What an asshole. He's showing you nothing but disrespect by doing that to you. That's taking the joke a little too far in my opinion. Your sex life shouldn't be plastered on Facebook for all your friends to see like that.
pdp_fml 21
Op should dump her so called boyfriend!!
crazyredbug 0
He wouldn't be checking in for a while if it were me
5upernova 3
I hope that after you found out about the check-ins, you stopped sleeping with him until he promised to stop.. but even if he promises to stop, you better make him make it up to you, or make him feel bad about it!
unixdude 9
This was funny the first three times it was FML'd. Now it is simply meh. YDI for dating a FMLer.
X_Codes 11
Ok, seriously. This is not something you complain about on FML, it's way too easy to fix. Tell him no nookie until he takes it down. Now, if he posted a picture of your "place" on Facebook, that'd be a different story.
vonmatterhorn 3
That's awesome.
OddBallOut 0
Hope he at least waits until you both are done before checking in lol
Piinkdottx3 5
are you "checking" yourself too? 0.o