Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML

Stuck in the middle with you

Today, I had to beg and argue with my boyfriend to get him to take a shower and brush his teeth. This has become a recurring argument now we're confined together. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML

Stubborn

Today, my boyfriend accused me of making an FML about him. I let him know that if I were going to make an FML, it would be about how he doesn’t flush the toilet after he uses it. He responded by not flushing the toilet again this morning. FML

Foot in mouth

Today, I was staying at my boyfriend’s place for the first time. In the morning, I brushed my teeth using the toothbrush in the cup next to the sink. He came in and said, “Oh, you found the one I use to clean my sneakers.” FML