Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. As I was leaving his house, I heard him shout, "Hey! Wait! Sweetie, get back here!" He was talking to his cat who'd run out the door behind me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of almost a year and a half broke up with me when he decided he wasn't in love with me anymore. We gave our stuff back, he was joking and happy the whole time until I told him I was taking back my cat. At that point he burst into tears. FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. As I left his house and began to drive away, I see him chasing after my car barefoot. I stop and roll down the window, ready to listen to the speech he has prepared to win me over with. He takes a moment to catch his breath and says "I want my cellphone back". FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
Today, my boyfriend drove to my house to break up with me. He only did so after I'd vacuumed the whole house to compensate for his cat allergies. I thought he was just coming to dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, by text, while we were in the same room. FML
Today, after breaking up with my boyfriend of 2 years, I was backing out of his driveway when he came running out yelling "STOP!" I thought he wanted to make up so I kept going, until I'd run over his dog. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
haishawna 0
hahahaha! i lol'ed but don't worry you can probably find a bettter guy:)
iJack 0
wow. big deal. he broke up with you and you thought when he called "sweetie" it was for you?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (77)
xohxcassiex13x 0
hahah, that sucks. sorry though, and its kinda weird how he calls his cat "sweetie". couldn't he think of a better name?
waterynuggets 0
If you're gonna wank off another story, do one that wasn't already essentially posted here, jeeeebus.
jonny2x4 0
Get over yourself sweetie. Pets are one rung up on the loyalty ladder ahead of GF/BF. Obviously his cat shows more unconditional love than you ever did. Plus pets don't act like ***** when someone forgets their birthday or their one-month anniversary. Pets have simple needs- feed them, clean them, pet them each day, and clean up their mess. If only you women kept your needs simple.
ImAKlutz15 0
HOW IS YOUR LIFE F'D!?!?!? so what he was talking to his cat and not you big deal!
serpicosghost 0
you sound fat
pinkuggs4ever 0
I would start crying...
tcvondey 0
xDDD im sorry that was 2 funny
I_HAVE_A_BIG_DIC 0
your ex sounds like a fruit
WithS 0
Uhhh did you do something wrong? I mean he loves his cat more than you.
Roxas_fml 0
I lol'd.