Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, I was eating lunch with my boyfriend when I started choking. My boyfriend took it as an opportunity to sneak food off my plate. FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, my fiancé and I had a fight because he wouldn't let me get what I wanted to eat, even though it was my money. He said, "It's way too many calories. I'm supposed to help you lose weight." When I pointed out that I had given up a month ago, he looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can tell." FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I told my parents that I was going on a diet to lose weight and I wanted their support. They brought home donuts and pizza for dinner. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I shared our first kiss. His partly digested nachos decided to make an appearance halfway through. FML
Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML
Today, is the fourth day of my husband's and my new diet and exercise routine. I've already caught him eating junk food 4 times. He has lost 2 lbs and I've gained 3. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
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Top comments
Feverrotes 15
OP it's because of people like you that United States of America is considered the land of the obese. Giving up on a diet after the first week or so is slightly acceptable, but on the first day? Some people need to come to their senses and realize that posting about their weak commitments/determinations on FML is not the best way to resolve the issue or gain sympathy.
shlee053 2
it's called will power loll
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Comments (151)
captainmaharet 1
One, calorie counting is a terrible way to diet. Two, certain foods don't count anyway, such as fruits, vegetables, low-fat milk, coffee, and Indian.
050294 0
Don't diet, it can stress the body. Eating smaller meals more frequently in the day AND excersize is the way to go. Just kept trying!
just_me_tmp 0
*exercise
050294 0
Lol, typo. I'm on my iPhone, so tying correctly can be a pain.
VenomByte 1
OMFG! Do you need a lock on the fridge since you can't keep a promise?
MrBodybagFiller 0
If you want to be a porker go ahead but don't get upset when the rest of the world views you that way. If not get some will power fat ass.
Boddmon 0
Indian food is a snack? Hm, I never knew this. Apparently all I do is snack each day since I'm brown.
guitardedman 0
oh wow one day of not being a gluttonous **** really takes its toll doesn't it? jesus. for real, keep your eye on the ******* prize. nothing tastes as good as thin feels. if you start equating hunger pains with success then it will be easier for you to man up and actually drop a few pounds. thats not a great mentality, and it can lead to anorexic thoughts, but if you want to drop weight thats what you have to do. nobody loses weight while eating what they want.
J_nazzty 0
ydi for having a boyfriend that is willing to make gay little promises like that with you. Im assuming your are both fat since you are trying to diet together. Fat couples are always the funnest ones to make fun of :)
42billybob 5
a WHOLE DAY of eating right. hate to break it to you (actually no... i take a sick pleasure in telling you) you're going to have to do that pretty much every day for a WHILE.
trixxi87 0
Wow, some people are so mean. Also, @#10: It's because of people like you that the United States of America is considered the land of ignorant a**holes. Maybe the OP isn't overweight, maybe they just want to drop a few pounds before a vacation or fit into a cute bathing suit/dress. Just because they went on a "diet" doesn't make them obese. People need to grow up. I bet that if half these people that left comments checked their BMI, they would be considered overweight or obese.
helloxmygoodbye 0
while I agree with you, BMI isn't the best thing to go by. Mine says I'm too underweight, but I don't look sickly skinny, I eat a bunch of food, and multiple doctors have told me I'm fine.
trixxi87 0
Wow, some people are so mean. Also, @#10: It's because of people like you that the United States of America is considered the land of ignorant a**holes. Maybe the OP isn't overweight, maybe they just want to drop a few pounds before a vacation or fit into a cute bathing suit/dress. Just because they went on a "diet" doesn't make them obese. People need to grow up. I bet that if half these people that left comments checked their BMI, they would be considered overweight or obese.