Today, my boyfriend and I are on our way back from vacation. It will be an eight hour drive. It just so happens I got food poisoning the night before we left, and there's roadwork everywhere. We're at a dead halt with no signs of moving. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I found out my boyfriend cheated on me. We're in the middle of nowhere and have a 4-hour drive home. FML
Today, I threw up while on a road trip. My boyfriend asked what made me sick, but I didn't want to tell him that his belching the entire time smelled so goddamn bad it made me physically sick. FML
Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML
Today, I was in a huge traffic jam with my boyfriend due to heavy snowfall. After being in the car for 4 hours, we were stuck in a tunnel with hundreds of cars behind and in front of us. Then the diarrhea hit. I had to shit in a plastic bag in the car. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, I'm finally visiting my long-distance boyfriend in his home country. He has a vomit-inducing migraine, and the traditional food he fed me triggered the worst kidney attack I've had in years. We're both lying on the couch writhing in pain. Yay, quality time together. FML
Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML
Today, I'm on a road trip with my wife and in-laws. After 8 hours of driving we stopped at a hotel to rest overnight. I was elected to go to the grocery store to get dinner. While I was gone, they ate at a restaurant without me. I spent $80 on groceries for the trash can. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I went on a roadtrip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML
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Top comments
Bano360 25
Whoever is thinking about making "the comment", don't do it.
perdix 31
Hmm, getting downvoted sounds like a *lowers sunglasses* shitty situation.
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Comments (81)
Cadillac4427 8
plastic bag works wonders
kwyk 23
Time to go back to diapers
vinayj009 5
Too much drinking isn't good.
Oxonian3 8
Dude, you never go full retard
8born8 18
There's always one bad thing that happens when you've had a great time. It's almost like the universe decided "Oh, you had a great time on vacation?.... Lets make it even more memorable shall we" cue food poisoning. Hope you get better soon.
Fluffydemise 18
I'm curious about your username, OP. Well, more specifically the absense of the words 'it' or 'in'.
guttedbrit 26
Hope you get better soon, OP!
OnlyTheDarkest 17
I'm sorry, but am I the only one thinking that my username would be "Shitshitshitshitshit!!!!" in this circumstance? I can see it now.. Bulging eyes and all. o.o
ILoveMyArm 15
Yes, you are the only one to think that.
alshygirl 14
Paper? That would soak right through. OP needs plastic
kkmwong 11
Looks like you will need a roadside stop.
amberlyyyy 15
At least you'll never ever ever forget this vacation! Hope the rest of it was great though!