Today, my boss ordered me to read the Twilight series in order to determine if they are "appropriate" for his daughter to read. I'm a 25-year-old bank teller, and I definitely don't remember this in my job description. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boss asked me to read through a document. I gave my feedback, saying it seemed like it had been written by an 8-year-old. Turns out it was in fact written by him. FML
Today, a student's mother sent me an e-mail complaining that I was requiring her child to read a book containing mild profanity. She then demanded me to let him read an easier book. This would've been somewhat acceptable if the student wasn't in the 12th grade. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, my brother's girlfriend came over to visit and we got to talking about books. Thinking she'd be interested, I suggested a few. She responded that she "only reads good literature." The only books I've ever seen her read are Fifty Shades of Gray and the Twilight saga. FML
Today, my 70-year-old boss asked me to order sexy lingerie she saw on the cover a magazine. FML
Today, my 12-year-old daughter was suspended from school for doing a book report on 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
Today, I took the day off work to be with my wife, since she's always bemoaning my lack of romantic gestures. As thanks, she spent most of the day reading Fifty Shades of Grey, which is basically a blatant plagiarism of Twilight, starring a pair of two-dimensional BDSM freaks. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Suffolk_yourself 8
If it's an order from your boss then presumably you can read the books at work on full pay? Although personally I'd rather be working!
marcranger 29
I've known sadistic bosses, but that takes the cake! Any chance you can tell yours that based on what you've heard, those books aren't appropriate for anyone to read?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (75)
jbuckets_404 39
OP, reading the Twilight series of books for your boss' daughter IS mentioned in your on-file job description; it's encompassed by the statement: "Other duties as assigned." That's the real world for us all, my friend! lol
kittysundae 8
The twilight books have all 14 signs of an abusive relationship and it glorifies said relationship as romantic. I was 10 when I tried reading them and stopped when I noticed how abusive the relationships were. It's essentially the kiddie version of the 50 shades trilogy.
ShotaSammy 17
Well obviously. The 50 shades trilogy was originally twilight fanfiction afterall.
Zebediabolical 45
Don't forget to turn in the reciepts for the books for reimbursment from the bank. It was an order from your boss, after all. :D
turnabouttrial 21
is your boss Michael Scott?
kidcool97 4
oh yes because a whole series based around an abusive relationship is a wonderful read
lostmaverick 10
Just say no. The whole series is about how you can completely ditch all your friends for a guy that orders you around and tells you who you can and can't talk to. Kind of ****** up, also adding in the wolf wanting to bang a baby in the last book.
CountZiggenpuss 7
I would tell him that you're reading them, wait 2 weeks, and tell him that they are inappropriate. For any intelligent being to read.
WoozyDoozy 2
Just refuse to do it. Stand up for yourself and tell him it's not your job. Let him know you're not that kind of person he can push around.
Migole 36
I read and liked the books when I was about 14 or 15 years old. That's the target audience. Years later I look back and see just how terrible the writing and plot is. Yes, they can be an enjoyable read for a young reader but that doesn't magically transform them into good books. I don't really see why the daughter should be forbidden to read them though (if she's 12/13 or older). If she's not an absolute dumbnut she'll be able to distinct between fiction and reality. Twilight doesn't make you sexist or whatever any more than gta makes you a murderer.
marcranger 29
There's more to reading fiction than seeing the world from a different perspective. If you were to judge Lolita by its one-line plot summary, you'd recoil...pedophile creeps on and then rapes his tween stepdaughter? Gross! Yet I'd gladly hand that book to a minor rather than Twilight, because you could get lost in the writing style, the characters have strong and identifiable voices, and you can tell that Nabokov disapproves of the narrator's actions even as he deftly puts you in Humbert Humbert's shoes. Twilight lacks all of the above, and I can say this because I've read it.