Work: Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker... - FML

By cthulhu help me - 01/03/2013 18:22 - United States - Cabot

Today, my boss gave me the task of firing a recently-hired coworker next Friday. This guy spends most of his off-hours working out, probably abusing the fuck out of steroids, and to whom prison is like a bed-and-breakfast. I fear for my life by this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 677

You deserved it 2 838

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Same thing different taste

By HelpMe1 - 06/11/2014 06:53 - Indonesia - Jakarta

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 269

You deserved it 2 956

I don't wanna…

By Anonymous - 28/11/2015 06:57 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my spineless shitwhip of a boss made me go fire a notoriously abusive employee. I had to act like firing him was my decision, even though I'm the secretary. Now I get to live in constant fear that the guy was serious when he threatened to find out where I live and kill me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 895

You deserved it 1 710

By NotJobbing - 11/08/2015 23:05 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 476

You deserved it 3 160

By AnonUser464 - 08/01/2013 16:40 - United States

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 531

You deserved it 3 428

By :( - 06/06/2013 23:37 - United States

Today, at my new job at a funeral home, my boss threatened to fire me if I didn't "lighten the hell up" while dealing with our grieving clients. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 936

You deserved it 4 759

Get rid of him

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:59 - United States - Deatsville

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 019

You deserved it 3 501

Just Say Yes

By bringthemback - 29/03/2014 10:34 - United States - Columbia

Today, my boss decided to have the whole staff drug tested and fire everyone who failed. Out of an original staff of 14 people, only my boss, two coworkers and I remain. I now have four times my normal workload and am seriously thinking maybe I should've said "Yes" to drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 141

You deserved it 4 259

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 007

You deserved it 917

By anonymous - 31/03/2015 16:47 - United States - Denver

Today, I was fired from job as a personal trainer. Why? Because I was working out with a friend while off-duty. Apparently, working out with a friend on a day off means I am training them under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 896

You deserved it 2 743

Get out of here

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 725

You deserved it 6 035

Next

Top comments

HandaPitler 1

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:59

Write him a note and sign it with your bosses name

ShannyAK 16

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:56

I get why your boss wants you to fire him, but that's not fair

Comments

Tiger9099 11

Monday 4 March 2013 17:20

That's why you're boss wants YOU to fire him.

Waspinator1998 21

Wednesday 11 December 2013 8:33

OP's name, though...

lowshadows 21

Monday 10 February 2014 15:12

take steroids before firing him?

Kris1520 14

Wednesday 13 August 2014 22:27

way to judge people

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 1 October 2014 11:44

That's probably why he asked you to do it...maybe you are better off doing something for him so you are not destroyed

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Monday 6 July 2015 12:19

Need a follow up on how it went!

KrazyKatz3 26

Monday 7 August 2017 13:39

I'm sure he won't blame you for loosing his job. Good luck

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Today, after years of problems with my chest, spine, and gut, my doctor asked if I always suck my stomach in trying to look thinner. As he said it, I realised I do it all the time. Apparently I’ve been doing it for so long, I’ve given myself Hourglass Syndrome. It’s a real thing; look it up. FML

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You deserved it 182

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has more armpit hair than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 505

You deserved it 6 500

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I agree, your life sucks 1 876

You deserved it 305

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 377

You deserved it 4 890

Today, I yawned so hard that I dislocated my jaw completely, then had to ask to be excused from class in front of 30 people with my mouth hanging open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 779

You deserved it 1 969

Today, I was delivering a pizza but I got the address wrong. When I got to the house, I was surrounded by police and put in handcuffs at the door. Turns out the wrong address I went to resulted in me interfering with some sort of sting operation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 167