Today, my boss asked me if I'd realized that "I support ISIS" was written on the bottom of my water bottle. The bottle was a gift from my dad. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
Today, I asked my manager where the clearly-foreign customers were from. She said she didn't know, but she thought they were from ISIS. She wasn't trying to be funny, she thought ISIS was a country. FML
Mr Bean
Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML
Today, for my birthday, someone left a big bottle of mouth wash on my desk with a big bow on it. FML
Today, I got back to work from a 3 week vacation. My boss had asked me to get him something so when I returned I presented him with a shotglass with the British flag on it. I later found out that he is a recovering alcoholic. FML
Not so secret
Today, during our office Secret Santa gift exchange, I unwrapped my gift to find a mug that says, "World’s Okayest Employee." Everyone laughed. My boss added, "Well, it’s accurate." FML
Nice to know
Today, my boss mistakenly drunk-texted me and was talking shit about me. FML
Today, my boss wrote me up for saying "pissed" in front of a client. This is the same boss who nearly pissed himself laughing when a client made an extremely off-color Holocaust joke a few weeks ago, in front of half the department. FML
Today, my boss decided to post a photo of a piece of crap on Facebook. He tagged me in it. FML
Today, my boss bragged to a coworker, in front of me, about how much money he saved on a project because he majorly underpays me. My boss is my dad. FML
Suspicious minds
Today, I saw one of my employees sipping from a beer bottle at work. I marched to his desk, snatched the bottle, and said, "Drinking on the job? You're fired. Get out." I then looked at the bottle. It was kombucha. FML
Top comments
Soninuva 41
That's a prank that could have serious repercussions. I hope you have a long talk with your dad.
barisozdemir 24
that's a terrible joke. especially these days..
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Comments (86)
dawood_k 27
Somethings are just not funny?
techiejames 8
Not funny at all. Depending upon where in the US you are, that can have serious reprecussions. Could have gotten you fired.
skippydoda 32
Forget about getting fired. It could have gotten OPs ass kicked.
Redgy22 26
Not with Obama in office.
TheNewGuy03 29
55, I bet you're one of those Obama-haters that sling all those shoddily concocted portmanteaus of Obama's name (Obummer, Oblowme, etc.) on sites like HuffPost all while praising the likes of Donald Trump and Ben Carson. Amirite? You HAD to turn this thing political. In case you weren't aware, we have already been bombing the **** out of ISIS targets for a good while now. Obama is hesitant to put boots on the ground, because ... well, we kinda just had a war in Iraq that he spent most of his tenure as prez trying to pull us out of. So yeah.
pokemonareugly 12
Implying bombing them is an effective solution I say just leave the surrounding countries fighting them and not us
KhalidJarrar 7
I realize that's horrible, but couldn't help laughing!
mattiscg 22
not the best time or place for those jokes!
2ru 14
Maybe your dad didn't write it. Just a thought.
plan_Z 14
That is pretty funny. I like your dad. From now on in though make sure he hasn't written on anything else. Or flip I on him and tell him his little joke got you fired. Let him apologise and then tell him it was a joke as vengeance. This could be the start of a beautiful prank war.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Your dad seriously needs to think before he does that kind of shit.
Clapdaddy 16
Pranks are great and all, but this one went a little too far.
TheNewGuy03 29
It was a meh joke, and TERRIBLE placement. I think the boss caught on to the fact that it wasn't serious. After all, how many ISIS agents embedded in western countries declare their allegiance openly?
team_hale 11
How did you not see that? Don't you look at your gifts when you get them?
kaotic_angel88 24
Who turns a gift completely over to inspect it?
Soninuva 41
You mean you don't?
chill99 15
You should change it to "I support my sister."
SorrowsReward 27
But if you could remove the capital I, to replace it with a "my", why wouldn't you just change the whole thing? I suggest "Don't believe anything written on the bottom of this bottle." because it might confuse them enough for you to make your escape!