Miscellaneous: Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I...

By N - 08/02/2009 08:04 - United States

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 409

You deserved it 5 251

Fête de la Musique: Notes et Négligences
When melodies meet misadventures, the Fête de la Musique becomes a symphony of laughter! More…

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Same thing different taste

Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 727

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:14 - United States - Athens

Today, my best friend can now say "I fucked your mom" to me and actually mean it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 173

You deserved it 3 690

Betrayal!

By Anonymous - 23/05/2010 05:32 - Canada

Today, my best friend of 10 years told me she had slept with a man who had a girlfriend. I told her that it wasn't that bad. She then informed me that it was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 038

You deserved it 10 541

By why - 28/07/2014 01:55 - United States

Today, I listened to my best friend describe having sex with her boyfriend in explicit detail. This would have been fine, but her boyfriend is my little brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 771

You deserved it 5 537

Sing me to sleep…

By anonymous - 25/09/2020 20:01

Today, my best friend informed me that he had lost his virginity to my sister, which I already knew. However, he told me the location. My room. While I was asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 575

You deserved it 158

There's always that one friend…

By seriously? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 337

You deserved it 10 697

By Anonymous - 01/06/2013 07:51 - United States - Portland

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 189

You deserved it 6 185

Creeped out

By Really jealous - 26/01/2021 05:01 - India

Today, my best friend confided in me that she's going to have sex with her cousin. Shocked, I tried to convince her not to and how it's a horrible idea. She called me a jealous bastard who can't get laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 492

You deserved it 246

Awkward conversation

By anon - 28/12/2019 05:00 - United States - La Puente

Today, I had to have a very difficult and awkward conversation with my best friend about her fiancé hitting on me. She seemed completely unfazed and ended up admitting that a three-way with me was actually her idea, but she didn't want to "weird me out" by asking me about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 661

You deserved it 387

By Noname - 10/03/2009 09:56 - United States

Today, I was giving a friend a neck rub, when she started to breathe heavily. So I figured she was getting into it, so I started kissing her neck, she then turns around and says "Tell my room mate I'm having an asthma attack." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 079

You deserved it 61 388

katieatieay 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 16:09

you were sorely mistaken.

Roi_fml 0

Sunday 8 February 2009 15:52

... lulwut?

Comments

razzl3erry 6

Sunday 21 August 2011 19:12

Funny, my friend says that to me too.

ilovemyflaws 0

Monday 10 October 2011 18:41

If my best friend ever said this to me, it would sound pretty normal for her XD

Timmeh94 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 23:27

forced ******* dumb bitch

FaraNight 6

Thursday 31 May 2012 7:54

Weird.

reaganelaina 0

Sunday 8 July 2012 9:01

Hahaha me and my best friend say much much worse to each other. Haha

profligatesoul 18

Saturday 2 March 2013 4:38

That actually sounds kind of sexy. Should've asked her to show you how.

Greenmarsh 31

Wednesday 14 August 2013 0:25

Sheltered much?

me127 17

Monday 5 January 2015 4:59

Wow bro calm ur ****.

awesomekirby098 11

Wednesday 18 May 2016 21:13

RUN.

Xkillz302 10

Saturday 8 October 2016 1:28

she just want to sit on ur face !

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Keywords

Argument Annoying Transportation Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Pranks Relatable Kids Parents AITA Work Family Love Poopoo peepee Health Swimming pool My ex Sex Intimacy NSFW Money Raining Painful Medication Relationship advice Psychology Mental health Animals Cats

The Top

Today, I was shocked to notice that my hair has started growing out entirely silver, supposedly due to pregnancy. I'm 19. Apparently, according to my aunt, "It runs in the family." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 645

You deserved it 6 752

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 591

You deserved it 3 341

Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching TV when an infomercial for "Male enhancement" came on. As I grabbed my phone, my girlfriend said, "Oh honey, don't buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 694

You deserved it 6 388

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 276

You deserved it 313

Today, I had to have emergency work done on my teeth after I seized in the shower and smashed my face into the tub. Apparently, the dental insurance I'd been paying for but had never used ended its coverage 4 days ago, because my job was no longer working with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 105

Today, I found out that my husband is an undercover crypto/NFT dipshit. I found this out when I looked at our joint account to find he had transferred a hell of a lot of actual money to some sort of BTC account with a dumb name. He now claims it's "the future", and I just "don't understand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 96